As much as I like to convey the notion ‘cool by not being cool’ I rally have to say, I love cheesy house and retro music. Weekend is over, and as per usual, I have patronised several Melbourne establishments. I have been bickering internally over my love for cheesy house music… I have always been able to dance to it, and I have always been able to admire other females dancing to it… only after this weekend have I realised this internal bickering is useless… I have succumbed to the dance f...

Everyone is happy, everyone is smiling… it’s almost day three in the 2004 Athens Olympics, and Australia is sitting neatly in second place with 4 Gold, 1 Silver, and 3 Bronze medals. I have said it before, and I will no doubt say it again – Australia is one of the best, if not the best sporting nation in the world. I work on this theory based on per-capita, and looking at the Olympic medal tally now, the proof is in the pudding. At the conclusion of Athens 2004 I will collate a tally based...

A freid was telling me a story the other day about how he was standing out the front of a shopping centre smoking a cigarette, and this slightly overweight girl approaches him, and asks him if he wants to come to the movies, she is paying... Now my friend is not an asshole generaly, but what I am about to tell you will probably disgust you somewhat - I was shocked. He goes into the movies with this chick, who he does not find attractive at all... she has obviously got him along to see a mo...

Jim McGreevey - The Democratic Govenor of Jersey, resigned today after confessing to an aldulterous affair with another man. The Shock, the horror! Aside from being a crazy kook democrat, who had nothing but the well being of his constituants in mind as he was governing the state, it is obvious that someone who commits adultery, more specifically, homosexual adultery, should resign from public office... right? This is a very tough situation for the poor man. Of Catholic persuasion, a...

It’s a sad day for the world community. It seems as though no matter how interested anyone is in progression, there is always some staunch conservative individual or organisation willing to stall. I am talking about the Californian Supreme Courts decision to annul almost 4000 same sex marriages. This decision has come at a provocative time in Australia, as out Gay and Lesbian community prepare for weekend rallies in the capital cities of Australia. The court said the city illegally iss...

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?", she asks, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily. "Gold of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you ...

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?", she asks, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily. "Gold of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you ...

I don’t live in America, but the entitled statement was made by none other than George W Bush on the campaign trail in Washington on Monday. If I was Middle America, I would be concerned. It doesn't take a genius to work out the the ridiculously rich can avoid taxes... What kind of logic is behind such a statement, why do I have the mental image in my head of Cletus the slack jawed yokel merged with that of George W. Bush making such a profound remark? It would seem that G.W. Bush is...

It happened again… My Mum has gone away for the week with her husband, and I have the domain all to myself. I moved out of home last November, and there was this pussy I used to see… let’s just name this pussy – Pussy X. Pussy X used to wander in and out of my room as she saw fit… Pussy X knew I would always be there upon return, and kind of took me for granted… Pussy X would come under the covers with me at the start of the night, but whenever I would wake up in the morning Pussy would be...

You can’t go through life hating everyone for everything you don’t like, and its unfortunate many people don’t learn this until they are much older. You can’t always associate older with wiser though, and it could be fair to say that some people can never get over gripes. You can’t hate the haters though – the best you can do is try to accept where they are coming from, adapt accordingly, and maybe try to apply a bit of rational thought. As far as hating goes – I am as guilty as the bigges...

Yo Gang, I haven't been around much... I guess Ralph has just kept me busy and I have been inspired to do other things I was just having a look at web-searchs related to 'Muggaz' though - I want to know if stalkers can track me down... hehe, not really, it was appealing to the inner narcissist in me, and I came acorss this really cool site Link It cracked me up somewhat!!! I dont know why, but i just think it was really cool! The internet is cool! haha... all those jocks playin...

It looks like my days on the seven seas as a pirate are over... Valve have made it impossible for me to commit sotfware piracy for any longer... I purchased Counter-Strike. Here is the blurb on the box... Counter-Strike is the number one online game, Counter-Strike features strategic teamplay set in terrorist vs. counter-terrorist scenarios. Each team is equipped with custom ammunition and equipment, and each player is given the option to upgrade their equipment as their squad complete...

When it comes to relationships in today’s society, I think there are massive problems with conceit and disregard for people’s feelings… I don’t really know where I am going with this; I would just like some honest opinions… I am the kind of guy that cannot enter into a sexual relationship with someone unless I have feelings for them, it’s really as simple as that, although, I love woman, and I love sex. Sex is a natural act, and it feels GREAT!!! Right now, I am not in a loving physical...

Hi Guys I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 last night, and while it was nothing I didn’t already know, It was a bit wish washy, and not objective at all… I am looking forward to seeing a movie that tells the story in an objective fashion… I did learn something last night though – I was completely unaware that it only took one member of the senate to sign an objection to Bush becoming president in 2000 – I know, I am a bit daft, but could one of you please kindly tell me, in your opinion, why no memb...

I recently got a bit hazy in one of my articles and I feel the need to justify myself… I just like Sharks ok – is that a crime? Everyday, I sit idly by, watching people lambaste and criticise the sharks, just for them being lean, mean, advanced predatory machines. Living in Australia, I hear about sharks a lot. Being a beach boy myself, I have encountered Sharks on more than one occasion. My grandma used to live in a quaint little beach town by the name of Cape Patterson – my auntie o...