Young Men, Prostitutes, and Nice Girls

a corker of a quesion!

Published on August 4, 2004 By Muggaz In Personal Relationships

When it comes to relationships in today’s society, I think there are massive problems with conceit and disregard for people’s feelings… I don’t really know where I am going with this; I would just like some honest opinions…

I am the kind of guy that cannot enter into a sexual relationship with someone unless I have feelings for them, it’s really as simple as that, although, I love woman, and I love sex. Sex is a natural act, and it feels GREAT!!!

Right now, I am not in a loving physical relationship, although, fairly often, I find myself in situations where I could have meaningless one night stands with woman, and have all the sex I want – the only problem is, I have no feelings for these woman, and you can call me arrogant, but I don’t want these woman to fall in love with me and get hurt.

It’s happened before… Advances were made, rejected, and feelings were hurt. The question I am asking here, to fulfil ones sexual desires, is it ok for a nice young man, who only has the feelings of young female acquaintances in mind (along with his own sexual urges) to accost a prostitute for their services?

As a nice young girl – how would you perceive this guy? Would you rather end up courting a guy who has slept with 100 prostitutes, but is so nice, that he only did this to make sure his natural urges were fulfilled at the expense of no ones feelings? Or would you take the risk of sleeping with someone who you think you like, but in the end, he ends up to be a jerk – and girls, I think about 80% of the male populace are jerks…

I don’t know what the answer is, I just think it’s and interesting question – I have never had sex with a prostitute, even when drunk, and my friends have tried to persuade me, there is just this moral barrier that needs to be observed, and right now, I want to ascertain what that moral barrier is.

Is it immoral for countless one night stands, and many broken hearts? Or countless encounters with prostitutes, sexual gratification, and an eventual loving relationship with a nice girl, who quite possibly could have had her heart broken by an aforementioned jerk who has just used her for sex in the past?

What a corker of a question… opinions, disgust, and support are all welcomed!!!

BAM!!!

Comments (Page 1)

Tim Mack

on Aug 04, 2004

I love women also, but I couldn't have a relationship with a woman if only sex was involved and there was nothing else. If I did, I would feel cheap and dirty. I understand why others may have sex without a relationship, but its just not for me. I remember back in the late 70's when I was in the Navy and a hooker wanted to make it with me. Beleive it or not we were having a three day party at a hotel with all the rooms and hookers paid for courtesy of the ships recreation fund.

With three days of partying some of the crew really got wreked. Anyway, I came over just to say hello for a while. I mean there's no way I could drink for three days. While I was there a hooker came over to me and told me that she had just been with 13 guys and she was going for a record. She asked me if I would like to be number 14. I admired her honesty, but I politely said no thank you, I'm not into numbers as far as sex is concerned.

So to me having sex without a relationship would be like being #14 on the hookers # goal. No, not for me.

Muggaz

on Aug 04, 2004

Hmmmm.... Thanks for popping in Tim Mack...

I see what you are saying, but it wouldn't be a relationship, it would just be for sexual gratification... we all know how fantastic sex is...

let me hypothosise for you - If i was out on a bender, and I was very drunk, and I had not had sexual relations for over a year, and I get propositioned by a girl I know has feelings for me, but they aren't reciprocated... I am a young hormone charged lad, and without having sex for over a year, it would be very difficult for me to say no, especially in an inebriated state...

Now - the question is, do you have sex with prostitutes throughout this year, so you dont feel the need to release your man juices, and risk hurting this poor girls feelings the next morning...

BAM!!!

Sally jacobs

on Aug 04, 2004

Wow, Excellent question Mugz. I'm attracted to these articles like flies are to shit ( not that you're articles are shit, far from it! You know what I mean right?) Anywho, I'm intending not to waffle here, but I can already feel I am. You're point is a very good one. That instead of playing with the emotions of these girls, who won't be able to help themselves, but fall madly in love with you, save them feelings, for just sexual gratification, with someone you pay, and who means nothing? I guess it is all about what sex means to you, and to the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with. If I met a man who had sexual relations with a prostitute. I wouldn't be to impressed. That is the honest truth. I'm an idealist. When it comes to this subject I am anyway. Apart from thinking about just what he could of caught of her. Sex to me is not just about the physical side, It's about loving someone. Giving yourself to them, on a level no one else can have you. That is what it is to me, and to find out the man I was planning on spending the rest of my life with, was capable of paying for it....hmmm, it would somehow cheapen the whole thing for me. Having said that the whole relationship would not be judged on that one thing, I am not going to turn away a guy for that reason. That would be silly, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be an issue. We all need sexual stimulation, that's a given, but does that mean we have to have meaningless sex? It should be about the love.

...I'm an idealist I know! Sorry for the waffle Mugz

Muggaz

on Aug 04, 2004

Ah, but If you are having meaningless sex with prostitutes, don’t you think it would make the event, when you do have sex with someone you like, a little bit more special?

Personally, I think this question absolutely brilliant, someone else asked me this question, and I wont name her unless she wants me too… but it really got me thinking… she was talking about someone else of course, but she knows me very well… she knows I have a heart of gold, and that I hate hurting people, but she also knows I am a 22 year old male, with raging hormones….

I know you are an idealist babe, isn’t everyone? And in an ideal world, I would have found my soul mate, and we would be having awesome sex every single night… but it’s not an ideal world though, and we have to adapt ourselves to situations… all I am saying is that having a lot of protected sex with prostitutes and fulfilling your own desires is quite possibly a solution to hurting young girls feelings…

I guess I am just a bit new age, and not old fashioned when it comes to sex… pinnacle level sex is all about love, but as far as I am concerned, sex is still something that can be entertained without love… as long as no one gets hurt…

BAM!!!

Sally jacobs

on Aug 04, 2004

but If you are having meaningless sex with prostitutes, don’t you think it would make the event, when you do have sex with someone you like, a little bit more special?

I guess it depends what disease you pass on to them

all I am saying is that having a lot of protected sex with prostitutes and fulfilling your own desires is quite possibly a solution to hurting young girls feelings…

You're correct, of course. I'm not disagreeing. I just think there are better ways of doing it. Though I see your point of view on this, and that you do have needs. Are your needs unable to wait for the love of a good lady? What if sleeping with these prostitues loses you that option, is it worth the risk?

I guess I am just a bit new age, and not old fashioned when it comes to sex…

I guess I am just old fashioned, but each to their own. You're correct, as long as no one gets hurt there isn't a problem. Let me just stay in my idealistic world for alittle longer, huh?

SSG Geezer

on Aug 04, 2004

Holy crap you opened the doors wide on this one Muggaz! My answer here could be a Sir Peter if I was feeling completely jaded, but I don't think I want to go there now. I have watched comrades chase anything, (and I mean anything!) for that elusive high known as sex. It didn't have to be good or great, just sex. This is exclusive of my comrades gender. I think that sex is always better with someone you have at least some feeling for, but with trust it should and usually does take it up a notch. Therein lies the rub, to find someone you trust enough with your personal pecadillos without worries that all of his/her pals will know every funny noise/face you make in the throes of passion. Perhaps that is the attraction of the one night stand; be a complete animal and who cares about the consequences.
question for the day: Everyone wants a lover who is good in bed but how did they get good without practice? Or were you just so desperate that you thought it was good?

Muggaz

on Aug 04, 2004

Everyone wants a lover who is good in bed but how did they get good without practice? Or were you just so desperate that you thought it was good?

Marvellous Question!!! hehehe...

I know - this is the thing... I do get propositioned a fair bit, but I just can't bring myself to hurt these girls for sexual gratification, because i am not attracted to them, yet it's still something I need... so, what I want to know, is why would a chick look down on a guy, who has only used a consenting prostitute for sex, when he only has her feelings in consideration...

Hehehe... although, it's not inconceivable for the poor pro's to fall in love with me as well

BAM!!!

Muggaz

on Aug 04, 2004

What if sleeping with these prostitues loses you that option, is it worth the risk?

If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss...

It would be akin to me being disenchanted with her if she had had a one night stand, or ever dated a jerk for an extended period of time...

BAM!!!

H-Bomb

on Aug 04, 2004

i love the fact u assume, that cos a chick wants to sleep with you it means shes head over heels for you and that YOUR going to break HER heart in the morning....

Girls have needs to and we also want to be able to just sleep with someone with out any complications every once and awhile....its really not the hard to find someone instead of giving in and turning to a hooker.....i know if i found out my guy had been seeing one i wouldn't know how to take it.....i would sorta see it as desperate....

As long as u make it clear to the girl during the night that it is only for that night then the balls in her court and if she gets hurt its her own fault cos she knew where she stood from the start!!!!!!

or just do what we all do, hook up with a friend where you both no what the deal is and then everyone wins!!!!

Sally jacobs

on Aug 04, 2004

If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss...

To lose her love for you, would be harsh, and to judge you on that one thing would be harsh. There are however certain stigmas attached to men who use prostitutes. That is just fact. Everyone makes these asumptions, and for a girl to question your reasons behind using a prostitute would be only natural. Her morals on sex could be different to yours, does that make her a worse person than you? What if she's saving herself for marriage? Would you judge her on lack of experience, as she judges you on how much you have? It's all about persoanl preference, and the key word...respect. If the girl loves youi, she will appreciate your reasoning, and love you for what youare. Just make sure they are the right reasons.

me being disenchanted with her if she had had a one night stand, or ever dated a jerk for an extended period of time...

They are natural relationships though. A one night stand....about just sex, and paying a prostitue....about sex. You have a pint, I will give you that, just doesn't mean I have to like it.

Muggaz

on Aug 04, 2004

or just do what we all do, hook up with a friend where you both no what the deal is and then everyone wins!!!!

- Haz... I don't feel comfortable with fuckbuddies... I dont know why, it's just a concept that I cant entertain... I would much rather pay for sex with someone I dont have any expectations of as a friend, and they dont have any expectations of me, than remotely jeopardise any realtionships with my friends.

Of course you would see it as desperate... the concept of a guy going to a prostitute to fulfil his needs whilst sparing the feelings of some poor girl is almost entirely foreign in today's society... I see girls who approach me in a bar, drunk of their face, telling me they think I am awesome when they dont even know me as desperate... thats not attractive at all...

You say it's expected that the girl will fall for me, whatever... maybe I am protecting myself for falling for someone? thats not likely... but just like I dont want to use a girl for sex, I dont particularly want to feel used for sex either... I would feel cheap and dirty as well... thats what prostitutes are paid for, to be cheap and dirty, so why not use it?

hehe... 11 comments later, and my stance is still up in the air on this one...

BAM!!!

Tim Mack

on Aug 04, 2004

Okay. I didn't understand the question at first. I have to say, I'm not really sure if I can answer that question. Its very hard. My answer may sound a bit weird but I think I would be totaly honest with the girl. I'm not sure if anyone else should do something like this unless they're wearing a safety helmet on their head, but I would say something like this. I have no feelings for you babe, but if you're as horny as I am and you just want to have sex with no strings attached than lets get it on.

Now of course, I would only do something like this if 1) I at least thought the girl had a nice personality 2( I was at least somewhat attrracted to her 3) She was not a married woman. If she's married I just don't go there. I remember once there was a girl I really liked and she looked great and was wearing no ring, so I was sure that she was single. But when we got to her bedroom and I asked her who that was in the picture on her night table and she said it was her husband, I said, I just remembered I got to go somewhere.

imajinit

on Aug 05, 2004

prostitutes = bad

nice girls = good

nice girls who behave like whores behind closed doors = excellent

jerking off for sexual gratification = good

innocent boys = is there such a thing? hehehe

Muggaz

on Aug 05, 2004

prostitutes = bad
nice girls = good
nice girls who behave like whores behind closed doors = excellent
jerking off for sexual gratification = good

Oh, how your insight has been missed around here MJ!!!! I am ever so happy you stopped by!!!

I was thinking about you not two hours ago, I was going to write you an email... i was indecisive - now I kow I will!!!

BAM!!!

romeo5000

on Aug 05, 2004

I'm with SallyJ and MJ on this one.

From what i've read about your views on relationships over time, I think we're on pretty much the same page of the whole sex and relationships book. I can't tell you what to do but I will tell you what I've done. I've decided that I'll just 'fly solo' until i'm well and truly into a relationship with someone I love. I think this would be good for a couple of reasons...
One is that I think having the ability to control my urges is good and will help me in the long term when i'm actually in a relationship (infidelity and 'honey, i'm not in the mood' training). Secondly I believe that while every time you have sex, you may get a little better at it, but you also give a little bit of yourself away. Kind of like a 'damaged goods' scenario.
I think saving yourself as much as you can would count for a LOT more than being considerate and just paying for it when you wanted it.

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