So I was talking recently with a group of friends as to our preferred choice of song at our respective funerals. In all honesty, I hope I die unexpectedly – i.e. Hit by a tram or something else that I never see coming, so I had best plan my song right now so my eulogy isn’t butchered by some sad song that will make my friends and family cry, so for this reason, I told my friends that I want the Cindy Lauper classic – Girls just want to have fun. It’s a cool song, and as far as funeral serv...

I don’t know if I should thank Walt Personally, or the underpaid goon who came up with the script for some hopeless forest animals, but in the movie ‘Bambi’ there is a line where Thumpers mum remarks to her devious son of a Rabbit “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” This particular line has resonated with me since I saw the movie – I don’t know if that is because my older sisters were Disney sadists, repeating lines whenever they could, or whether it’s because it was t...

I don’t know how many of you crazy cats are familiar with the Eurhythmics – some 80’s pop group… but they sang a song that was entitled as thus, and it’s been going through my head all morning. I had one of those vivid dreams that involved a girl, nothing overtly sexual, just a female companion I was having fun with in the dream, and she was vividly beautiful, so much so, her image remains with my consciousness, even though she was a product of my sub-conscious. Dreams are often subterfuge...

I was a young lad at the age of 16 years old. I was in my final year of high school, and I was becoming a man if you know what I mean. I went to a Catholic school, where religious education was mandatory – sure, it was the 90’s, sexual liberation has come a long way since the old days, but still, at a Catholic school promiscuity was still not common. I knew all about sex, but I still was comfortable with it, considering all the risks involved and how the religious attitudes of sex had been dr...

I like to think of myself as a selfless person, what is good for those around me, is essentially good for me, so, whilst I am no philanthropist, I am sure I have the concerns of others in my heart - sure, it’s probably related to a deep seeded desire to not associate with people who are grumpy and un-pleasant towards me, but that isn’t exactly unhealthy. Exactly what brought this train of thought upon me; I don’t know, but it’s the famous, what you would do if you had one wish. I am not gr...

The Immortal line from Top Gun uttered by a tall, arrogant USAF Pilot named Iceman to a pilot who has just saved the day - "YOU! -you can be my wingman anytime" to which the hero replies... "Bullshit, you can be mine" Wingmen - a fabulous concept of guys who look out for each other in the turbulent environs of battle in the atmosphere, or battle in the nightspots... always on the look out for a Bogie, or a Babe. I had two fantastic wingmen, but they have been decomissioned by sai...

Oh the joys of Christmas! 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate. Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents. 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying...

Oh the joys of Christmas! 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate. Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents. 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying...

As a citizen of the world, I knew the result of the American election would have a profound effect on me, but I never knew it would have the effect it has. Since George W. Bush won his second term in office, I have become completely apolitical. Political concerns have always been part and parcel of what I am, or was, alas, I have lost faith in the world and human nature in general. I won’t go as far as to say I am now an anarchist, but I would be brash enough to say that we deserve an ast...

AS I stood in front of the mirror, washing my face preparing to go to bed, you can’t help taking a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. You go through the motions, you see past any imperfections of your face, and you look right into your eyes, and wonder how the rest of the world looks at you, even though they can’t possibly know you without peering into the depths of your gaze. What type of Image are you trying to convey to the world when you are in the thick of it, or as my friends ...

There is this girl that I met on the train, and I was kind of interested in her, in a let’s roll with this and see what happens kind of way, so yeah, I rolled with it, and last night I saw what happened – we had arranged to meet for drinks at 8.30… 9.30 rolls on by, and I receive a message that she is still at church… I simply replied that I was calling it a night, and she can say hi to God for me. For me to consider a relationship with an overly religious girl is kind of stupid – sure cha...

On one of my frequent trips to my own little world, I was reminiscing about the many times I have been denied entry or removed from venues due to my inebriated state by bouncers or security guards. At the time, I wasn’t to happy about being asked to depart, or having my entry denied, yet hindsight is a beautiful thing, and I realise, whilst the bouncers could be perceived as power tripping, they were only looking out for my best interests – sure, they probably lost about $50 for the venue of ...

Ya, I went home yesterday to see my mum and pick up my brother, and sure enough, Bronson's (my cat) breath smells like cat food... probably explained by all the cat food he eats. He is a pretty big cat, and he does eat a lot of cat food, so it's really quite a blatant statement. Sure, I couldn't think of anything else to open this mainly ambiguous blog about, i don't even know if it is really ambiguous or not, I just like that word, and I have used it just twice now, and I can easily justi...

Here you have one motley crew - at the races Suturday just gone. I am still paying for it, but it was debauchery and shananigans all round. The races at Spring Carnival time in Melbourne is a fantastic experience, everyone gets dressed, and everyone looks great! My friend gave me this picture this morning, and the looks on our faces says it all - this wasn't to far into the day, but we were, how you say, festive by this time! Giddy-Up!

I am not a religious man, although I have been brought up in the church, and there is a few lines of a prayer that resonates with me still – God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I am not going to enter into a tirade about how I hate Bush and republicans, because it simply isn’t true. I would be a happier man if the Democrats one – but this is one of those times when I have the Wisdom to ...