You have struck the nail squarely on the head Mug... The point of the cliche' is that the only way that you can truly fall in love again is if you allow yourself to fall completely... head over heels... just let go... (insert continuous stream of cliches here)  ...  those 'damn emotions' are holding you back, and you mustn't let them.  You have to go into it, and allow yourself to love as though you've never been hurt!  To take any other approach is to deprive yourself of a wonderful chance at happiness & love.  

for a number of years--years following the number of years it took for the pain of my first...and second...heartbreak (both were equally serious in different ways); the time it took for me to get to a point where i could look back and once again appreciate the good parts of each--my response to your post would very similar to imajinit's but possibly with even more enthusiasm. 

i still agree with what hes said.  but after finding myself not nearly as invulnerable as id foolishly convinced myself over the second number of years, ill add one caveat.  men arent as able as women to 'see' who others really are.  but you seem like the type of man who can do it as well as any man can.  be sure to focus on that..rather than what you want to see or hope to see.  if this sounds egnimatic, its unintentional and ill be happy to go into greater detail if you ask.  im guessing you prolly know already.

I don't have a penis (as I'm sure you'd be happy to hear) and I suffer from the same problems. The thought of actually opening up to someone and allowing myself to be vulnerable seems so totally terrifying that I don't even contemplate it. As such I hang out with guys who I kinda already realise I'd never fall for, thereby avoiding the whole love situation entirely. It sucks really, as I'm a pretty cool chick and could build a pretty cool relationship with someone special... if I only let them in.

At least you're thinking about, and trying to figure out what's going on with you. I don't have any tips about how to get over it - I suppose time heals all wounds and all that. Just don't let an amazing opportunity pass you by because of fear. Better to be hurt than to regret. Trust me.

Suz xxx

And one day, you realize that the walls have gotten so thick that even YOU cant overcome them.... Scale those walls now, Mugz, while you still can.

so very true.   insightful really understates the wisdom of that advice...but its the best i can give as far as points go; and it's yours lw. 

So, I'll call you all crabs - you know, hard shell, soft inside with blogging pincers. Come to think of it , to different degrees, we all are crabs. Yeah, Mugz, welcome to crabland. Listen, I'm not saying we're all going to transform into beautiful butterflies one fine day (I think we're good-looking enough as crabs), but one day, you'll meet a lady crab who'll knock your antennae off and know how to get inside your shell. Until then, blog around and don't think much about it. It'll happen as sure as vacant taxis stop in front of you when you don't need them.

I've never had my heart broken over true love, so I guess I'm not the one to give advice on this. Having been married for 12 years, and with my first love still, my husband, a total of 19 years, love is many things. I won't begin to go into it but as the others say, I think you should go for it.

Little Whip covers it really well, "the accumulation of emotional scar tissue is inevitable. A certain amount of jadedness isnt all that bad, as long as you allow the walls it builds to be scaled on occasion by someone worthy." Even being married you get these "scar tissue(s)". Love, like life, is what you make of it. Go ahead, let your walls down, dive in (perhaps with caution) but with exhilaration and you might be surprise of the outcome. Don't go in expecting to be hurt, expect nothing but happiness, fulfillment and yes, maybe some tears. Just listen to your heart, and do what it tells you.

Humm....I don't really think I could really relate to this one Muggaz. I don't think I know what true love is yet. I don't believe that I'm old enough.

Anyways....I thought you left JU?! Please fill me in on what all went on. Im totaly lost big time!

~carebear~

Dunno what to say, Mugz. I think you're right that this isn't a gender issue--it's a human one. I could give stupid relationship advice, but what do I know? I'm not involved, but I care about you and I want you to be happy.

Cheers.

-A.

I left my comment on your other blog--this duality is starting to confuse me!

Oh Muggaz you're such a dear and wonderful person and I wish that I could just snap my fingers and make you smile. Unfortunately, there's so much more work than a snap of the fingers, isn't there?

I guess it all just takes a damn long amount of time.

Good luck to you, and hugs and kisses across the seas.

~Anne

I love it when boys talk about love....even if it's just on a blog site.

That's all.

Trinitie