We all know there is no spoon… however, if there was a spoon, what would you do with it? Let me ask you this question… If you had one of those Matrix Style data plug thingies in the back of your head, and you had the ability to learn and master one skill instantaneously, what would that skill be? The answers to this question will tell us a lot about the respondent… what are you going to tell us about you? I guess this is just the nerdy way of asking, what skill do you most desire? ...

What price on a bit of female companionship I hear you ask? well... thats kind of depends on who you are... but there is no way my musical integrity is up for question!!! Visiting one of Melbourne's quality establishments in the weekend just passed, playing a spot of pool with my mates whilst listening to a band get their jive on... Three attractive ladies assume the position at the table nearest to us... begin giggling, glancing... inviting conversation... Who am I to deny them the sim...

True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere? BAM!!!

True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere? BAM!!!

President Bush was visiting a primary school. One of the classes was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asked the cla...

President Bush was visiting a primary school. One of the classes was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asked the cla...

This article was inspired by a recent Maxim survey of the American woman – brought to my attention by the great pschxx in this article According to Maxim, 80% of the American women (Maxim readers at least) prefer the macho, jealous type of boyfriend… I am no psychology major, however, it has come to my attention that there are many women here on JU, and perhaps they can provide some insight… Some members of our glorious community have put it down to the female love of drama… This is ...

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead. Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag? A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer. Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box. Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans? A: Because English are the only one's who ca...

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead. Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag? A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer. Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box. Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans? A: Because English are the only one's who ca...

Varying forms of research has been conducted in relation to mobile phones and the damage they can cause through Radiation. The findings of brain damage are still up in the air; however, they have been conclusive and frequent enough to make me conscious of the problem… what about other functionalities of the human body? As reported here a Hungarian study has provided scary information that mobile phones have the capacity to reduce the sperm count by up to 30% Essentially, my opinion...

Why oh why make me so angry on a Monday morning? I get to work, and there is an email from my friend stating how she was with the guy that she liked, but nothing is going to happen from it - which she knew from the start, so now she is sad… wtf. Ok, this is brash, stupid, ridiculous, presumptuous… but chicks are easily the most emotionally retarded of the human species. It would be apparent to me that as a general rule, chicks are so devoid of logic that they are constantly hurting the...

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed. On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who co...

A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Remember, half the people you know are below average. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Depression is merely anger withou...

What an emotion it is though. I watched a documentary on the Lackawanna 6 last night. The Lackawanna 6 is six American citizens who were one of the first terrorist sleeper cells to be discovered after September 11. Lackawanna is a Yemeni community in Buffalo, NY – 100 or so years ago several hundred Yemeni immigrants came to the USA to work the steel. The steel is no more, the jobs are gone, and Lackawanna is just like any other community in America’s rust belt – if not dead, close to d...

I don't know if you have heard the sad news or not but with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in...... and then the trouble started. BAM!!!