On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat, "she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat, "she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating...
DANDENONG IS TO MAKE A BID FOR THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES In order to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified. However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Cranbourne, Frankston, Broadmeadows, Thomastown, Bayswater and Sunshine etc. OPENING CEREMONY The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt, jeans and moc...
DANDENONG IS TO MAKE A BID FOR THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES In order to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified. However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Cranbourne, Frankston, Broadmeadows, Thomastown, Bayswater and Sunshine etc. OPENING CEREMONY The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt, jeans and moc...
A Charlotte, North Carolina. lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire amongst other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made the first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to meet the claim, citing ...
A Charlotte, North Carolina. lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire amongst other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made the first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to meet the claim, citing ...
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it" she looks at him BUT they are sperm samples "DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as w...
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it" she looks at him BUT they are sperm samples "DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as w...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s ** t. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s ** t. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I...
A young woman in Melbourne was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Yarra. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her. “Look, you have to much to live for,” he said. “I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving clo...
A young woman in Melbourne was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Yarra. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her. “Look, you have to much to live for,” he said. “I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving clo...
True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere? BAM!!!