Sydney, Friday: A Man describing himself as a passionate masturbator has admitted that he spiked his own drink with the drug Rohypnol in order to have his way with himself. The man told police he deliberately set out to prey on his own company, by slipping the potent sedative pill into his vodka and tonic while he wasn’t looking. He said his plan from the outset was to take advantage of himself whuile his defeces were down. “I was really on the hunt for some self-abuse,” thae man said. ...
Sydney, Friday: A Man describing himself as a passionate masturbator has admitted that he spiked his own drink with the drug Rohypnol in order to have his way with himself. The man told police he deliberately set out to prey on his own company, by slipping the potent sedative pill into his vodka and tonic while he wasn’t looking. He said his plan from the outset was to take advantage of himself whuile his defeces were down. “I was really on the hunt for some self-abuse,” thae man said. ...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat, "she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat, "she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating...
DANDENONG IS TO MAKE A BID FOR THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES In order to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified. However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Cranbourne, Frankston, Broadmeadows, Thomastown, Bayswater and Sunshine etc. OPENING CEREMONY The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt, jeans and moc...
DANDENONG IS TO MAKE A BID FOR THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES In order to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified. However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Cranbourne, Frankston, Broadmeadows, Thomastown, Bayswater and Sunshine etc. OPENING CEREMONY The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt, jeans and moc...
A Charlotte, North Carolina. lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire amongst other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made the first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to meet the claim, citing ...
A Charlotte, North Carolina. lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire amongst other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, and without yet having made the first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to meet the claim, citing ...
There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?" -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -- Custer, 1877 8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -- Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -- Picasso, 1926 6. "How...
There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?" -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -- Custer, 1877 8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -- Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -- Picasso, 1926 6. "How...
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it" she looks at him BUT they are sperm samples "DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as w...
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it" she looks at him BUT they are sperm samples "DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as w...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. ...