I think you would be better off with a bed buddy then jepordize the fact in the future that most girls dont want to be with a guy that has been with a prostitute.

Personally I think a guy that pays for sex (even if it is to spare feelings) is a huge turn off.

Mugz, a good blog mate. I’ve got a few things to share on this one.

About 4 or 5 years ago, I went through a phase when I was happiest being single. I liked my own space, and a relationship was the last thing I wanted. This phase lasted for about three years. However, I’m a red-blooded male. Pressing needs and desires inevitably build up for a twenty-something lad, especially when there’s no form of ‘release’, so to speak.

You've made a good point about the dilemma between one-night stands and paying for a prostitute. I personally learned from experience that one night stands are too costly, for the other person’s feelings. Maybe it depends on the girl, and also on yourself. But I think that deep down, most girls are looking for romance and something ‘more’ than sex, even if they say they aren’t. There must be girls around who look for sex only, but I happened to encounter the other kind, (about three girls in all).

Even though I was open and honest with them from the start, and made it clear that “I’m not looking for a relationship”, they got clingy. Afterwards, they would want to know why I didn’t phone them, or why I wasn't interested in seeing them again. They took the ‘one-night only’ issue personally.

At first, I thought they were out of line. After all, I’d been open with them from the outset, and had told them that I didn’t want a relationship of any kind. However, it soon dawned on me that it was my behaviour that was ‘out of line’. I should have been aware that they were searching for more.

Now, for years I’d heard my friends talk or joke about a ‘massage parlour’ in town, which was apparently for “adults only”. I had always looked down upon such places, and thought of them as “immoral”. But now my feelings were shifting. I felt intrigued, and wanted to see what it was like to visit one. So I went. And it was great.

I never had full sex with any of the girls, believe it or not, even though it was readily available. Rather, I went for the ‘massage and extras’ option, which lasted between half an hour to an hour, (depending on how much you paid - £50 per half hour). And it always ended up with a nice ‘release’. This might sound seedy, but it wasn’t. The place was pleasant, and the girls were polite, and most of them attractive. The service was just what I was looking for.

So to cut a long story, the point is, visiting prostitutes at that phase of my life, (which went on for a period of two years, once every month or two), was most certainly the “right” thing. Was it immoral? Not at all. It might have been immoral through the eyes of other people, but not through mine. Nobody was getting hurt, and both people knew the score, with no hidden agendas. One-night stands, however, from my experience, were far more “immoral”. So what about the other option - being patient, and waiting for the right time when I ready for a relationship? Well, I simply wasn’t ready for that. I was too young, and needed more experiences under my belt. In short, I had some growing up to do.

Eventually, my whore-visits came to an end, mainly because I met a lass and had a one-year relationship, which ended mutually simply because it ran its course. I’m single again now, but choose not to visit prostitutes, because for me now, resisting whores adds to my own personal development and exercises self-control. Now I'm going to be patient. So it’s gone full circle. If I were to visit a massage parlour again, I would feel that I’ve let myself down. For this reason alone, visiting whores would be “immoral”. But only a few years ago, it was just what the doctor ordered!

As to the issue of meeting a woman who might object to my past experiences, to the extent that she might think less of me, then it would indicate that she wasn't the right girl for me anyway.

Sorry to waffle on Mugz, but you’ve got a good blog here. My personal opinion is that the answer depends on the individual, and depends on 'where we are' in our own life.

Oh Andy! You are so making me want to waffle here! Boys prepare to hate me........but I'm going to be totally honest here. You have needs. I understand that. I seriously do. You make it sound like these girls are silly for getting their emotions involved. Did I miss something? Isn't that the point? Okay, you made it clear to them that you were just after sex, but their feelings still got involved? That is not a bad thing! It shows they are human, it shows sharing something that intimate with someone is actually something special! It's something special! When did sex become so cheap! I have no problem with people getting their sexual needs taken care of, and if it's a mutual decision then good luck to both of you, It's not my personal preference, and I'm sure to alot of ladies it's not. It would appear men find it alot easier to turn emotion off when it comes to sex, and just have it as the animal sex it is. Good for them. Women in general don't do that, be aware boys. Which brings me on to....

As to the issue of meeting a woman who might object to my past experiences, to the extent that she might think less of me, then it would indicate that she wasn't the right girl for me anyway.

I'm starting backwards, but what's new there right! If I found out about your past experiences, and that you used these ladies on a regular basis. It would make me question your values about sex. I don't think that makes me a bad person, but for me to be with someone that can just have sexual relations (or whatever you got upto!) with random ladies, and not be in an emotional relationship. Yes that would make me question things about you. I don't think I'd think less of you, that would be just judging you, and I'm not with that, but I would like to be with someone who saw sex as a special part of a relationship. Idealistic Sally strikes again! Please don't hate me boys.....and speaking of...where are all the ladies?? I'm feeling lonely....

speaking of...where are all the ladies?? I'm feeling lonely....


Sally~ Don't I count as a lady?

Sally~ Don't I count as a lady?

Of course you do! There only seems to be a few of us ladies commenting though! I totally agree with the prostitute thing being a turn off though!

Maaaan this is an interesting blog. First of all, I wouldnt' want to be with a guy that has paid multiple prositutes for sex. I see it as an act of desperation. A man that can't control his own sexual tensions and degrades woman by paying them to have sex with him is pretty pathetic. (And I'm not defending the prostitutes, they degrade the essence of being a woman) I would lose respect for him. And If I don't respect the person I love, than what's the point?

"If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss..."

This once again goes to Respect. It does say a lot about her character. It shows that she has enough self respect and enough dignity to leave a person she has no respect for and who she doesn't agree morally with. I personally would rather be with a JERK than with a desperate loser that pays woman to fulfill his sexual desires. At least I benefit and learn from a relationship with a "jerk." And that's what failed relationships are for. They're for learning. I mean if i was in a relationship with a guy that slept with prostitutes, I wouldn't learn anything, I would just feel sad for the him....feel sad that he lost a chance with a great independant, strong woman for lousy sex with disgusting, self-degrading whores that have no self-respect.

and MUGZ...it wouldn't be her loss. It would be your loss. You would lose a chance at love with a real woman at the expense of your emotion-less sessions with prostitutes that don't even deserve the tittle of a WOMAN.

think of it this way? If you were to be with a woman....and she told you she was a prostitue for 5 or 6 years and has slept with more than 500 men. Would you still love her? Would you still respect her?

At the end of the day it's all about getting your nut, dude...

Wow - thanks for your comments guys - especially you Andy... that was fantastic... Thanks for providing such insight!!!

There seems to be a pattern here... it would appear that no one in these forums has any respect for prostitutes or the purpose they serve at all - which helps me develop a huge sense of pity for the poor girls. I know, within my heart, that i could never go to a prostitute, for the aforementioned reasons, that it is so degrading to woman as a whole...

Also, going without sex is no biggy anyways, it's not hard, and it does teach you self control... and the needs we do have... well, as Imajinit pointed out, we have Mrs Palmer and her five daughters, and a stella imaginiation

Mandy - if someone was with a prostitute 4 years ago, and they hadn't been with one since, and they were honest enough to tell you they were with a prostitute, would you still look down on them? at the end of the day, I know it's all about respect, and obviously the bloke has enough respect for you to tell you that he has been with a pro, when really, he didn't have to tell you anyway!!!

attitudes like you have just displayed, are perfect reasons why some guys just go through life lying about everything, because they fear they will lose what they love just for being honest... If i was with a woman I truely loved, even if she was a prostitute years ago, that in no way would change my opinion of her... it doesn't change who she is as a person, and it's in her past.... If everyone worried about what people did in the past, there would be no moving forward whatsoever.

Its a bit of a shame actually... if i ever were with a prostitute, based on the attitudes on display here, I would be too scared to tell any girl that i was, because it looks like an un-forgivable sin...

Thanks for your comments guys.

BAM!!!

Mandy totally fab response chick...respect your honesty loads.

it would appear that no one in these forums has any respect for prostitutes or the purpose they serve at all - which helps me develop a huge sense of pity for the poor girls.

I don't respect them. That is true. I think that they cheapen everything that women stand for. However I do feel sorry for them, that they feel they need to lower themselves to such levels. I'm sure it's not something they would ideally want to do. Just because I don't resoect them, does not mean i would look at them as any less than myself though. there are many levels you can judge a person, and I wouldn't judge them just for that. I wouldn't really want to have sex with them though!

perfect reasons why some guys just go through life lying about everything, because they fear they will lose what they love just for being honest...

Ooooh! I hate it when men say stuff like that. They do something they think we won't like, and their excuse for lying is that is because of our reaction! Noooo! That is not the case! Honesty is the most important thing, before anything else. Even if we had aproblem with what you done, if we really loved you and was meant to be, we would forgive it. Don't take the easy way out, and not tell us because you think we are going to get mad. Not that i actually think you would do that Mugz!

if i ever were with a prostitute, based on the attitudes on display here, I would be too scared to tell any girl that i was, because it looks like an un-forgivable sin

Not un-forgivable. Well not for me anyway. I'd respect your honesty a great deal, and it would make it all the more seedy if you tried to hide it. It wouldn't be the best thing I ever heard though. It would probably make me have some doubts about your views on sex and relationships, but if I was with a man i truely loved and I ended the relationship because he told me once he'd slept with a prostitute, I would only be hurting myself in the long run!

Not un-forgivable. Well not for me anyway. I'd respect your honesty a great deal, and it would make it all the more seedy if you tried to hide it. It wouldn't be the best thing I ever heard though. It would probably make me have some doubts about your views on sex and relationships, but if I was with a man i truely loved and I ended the relationship because he told me once he'd slept with a prostitute, I would only be hurting myself in the long run!

That is what I was hoping for Sally.... of course, it doesn't make it ok to sleep with a prostitute because you expect forgiveness, but to know what you could have done, in a spur of the moment thing, many years ago, could ultimately affect your signifigant others viewpoint of you, well, it's a bit daunting...

The home truth here is that honesty is paramount... and to be honest to myself, meaningless one night stands appeal to me far less than sleeping with a prostitute... by the same token, resisting my sexual urges and desires will make the sexual encounter with someone I have feelings for all the more special, and really, thats the difference between sex and making love...

give me making love over sex anyday

BAM!!!

The home truth here is that honesty is paramount... and to be honest to myself, meaningless one night stands appeal to me far less than sleeping with a prostitute... by the same token, resisting my sexual urges and desires will make the sexual encounter with someone I have feelings for all the more special, and really, thats the difference between sex and making love...

...agreed Mugz.

I have no feelings for these woman, and you can call me arrogant, but I don’t want these woman to fall in love with me and get hurt.

There is no shame in practicing safe sex young man. Women are emotional psychopaths and fall in love with a chap merely for opening doors for them so your caution is most wise indeed.

It is a right of passage into manhood for a young chap to mount a hooker, it has been a tradition in my family for years that on his 14th birthday a young Maxwell boy will have sexual relations with a black prostitute. There is no shame in this and anyone who disagrees is clearly a homosexual.

As for women who would not allow courting to take place because her suitor had taken part in marital relations with a hooker, then I say shame on you. Hookers provide an essential service for young men to gain sexual experience. Would these women prefer that a chap attempts to mount them for the first time with no previous form? The silly girls would be first to complain that this chap was unable to locate the clitoris and that he was a poor swordsman. Typical unrealistic females!

Oh gosh....Mugz stop with the guilt trip. I hate it how guys always have to turn everything back on the girl.

"Mandy - if someone was with a prostitute 4 years ago, and they hadn't been with one since, and they were honest enough to tell you they were with a prostitute, would you still look down on them? at the end of the day, I know it's all about respect, and obviously the bloke has enough respect for you to tell you that he has been with a pro, when really, he didn't have to tell you anyway!!!"

Okay Mark, even if it was way back in the past, that doesn't change the fact that I still will lose respect for him. The core of the person stays the same, no matter if it was four years ago or four days ago the guy still demonstrated great desperation and degrading of women by hiring a prostitute. Yes the "BLOKE" does have enough respect for me to tell me about what he did. And he should have enough respect for me to realize that I'm not going to forgive something that I completely disagree with just because I'm in love with him. And I will admire the fact that he didn't lie to me, but I can't just hide what I feel towards the whole situation.

"attitudes like you have just displayed, are perfect reasons why some guys just go through life lying about everything, because they fear they will lose what they love just for being honest... If i was with a woman I truely loved, even if she was a prostitute years ago, that in no way would change my opinion of her... it doesn't change who she is as a person, and it's in her past.... If everyone worried about what people did in the past, there would be no moving forward whatsoever."

- Haha, how brilliant. Attitudes we have just displayed show that women are strong enough to value their morals and their beliefs and stand by them instead of forgiving a man cause she "loves" him. I'm not going to change my values or morals for anyone let alone a man that had sex with a prostitute. My values and morals are what make me the person I am. I'm not willing to change them for "love" of a person that I don't respect or agree with. And Mugz, I wouldn't worry about his past, after learning it I would seek a person that is more worthy of my time. Because I sure in hell am not deserved by men that sink so low as to spend money for a bond that is suppose to be special and sacred. Why would I give him the most sacred part of myself, when I know he has paid for it during other circumstances? I respect and love myself too much to give myself to a person that doesn't deserve me.

"Its a bit of a shame actually... if i ever were with a prostitute, based on the attitudes on display here, I would be too scared to tell any girl that i was, because it looks like an un-forgivable sin..."

- It's not an UNFORGIVALBE SIN. I mean I'll forgive him for being with a prostitute, but I won't respect him, and if I don't respect him than I would get out of the relationship. It's more of a I'll forgive him but won't forget it.

And Sally! I'm glad that another women can speak out about this without worrying about the men calling us "Too conservative" "Irrational" "intolerant" lol men, they think they are god's gift to women.