The Funniest Quip Wins!

My adulation!

Published on August 10, 2005 By Muggaz In Just Hanging Out

Ok Ok, so I did something a bit left field and made what some would call an unusual purchase. Link

Now, this belt buckle is like nothing I have ever seen before, and I have seen a lot, so i can safely assume that many others will not have seen such a device - which will no doubt make it an instant hit. All I need to do is think of some clever quips. My JU friends, I have a few to start of with, however, I would like to pick your brains for some absolute corkers - and I am expecting some pearlers!

Those who know me, know I am not shy, so do your worst - but try not to give me any lines that will get my head punched in. You have a limit of 256 characters, so that should suffice for some concise yet witty humour we all know and love! here are a few examples i have already...

"If you have taken the time to read this message, you must really like my crotch"

"If you think this belt buckle is cool, you should see the LEDs on my underpants"

"Sorry ladies, I only date models"

"advertising space for sale - inspection free for hot chicks"

So - you get the idea - we can have some fun with this, so come on, give me what you have got!

Tally Ho!

Comments (Page 1)

Mr_Frog

on Aug 10, 2005

"Do not wait until Xmas to open!"

"Honk if you like my package!"

"Open with extreme care...explosive device inside."

"Tool box"

-- B

Mr_Frog

on Aug 10, 2005

By the way, that buckle is friggin' awesome.

-- B

Moderateman

on Aug 10, 2005

ummmmmm scrolling arrows pointing down saying "for rent cheap"

Dr Guy

on Aug 10, 2005

I have scrupples! I cannot be bought!

But my rent is reasonable.

Muggaz

on Aug 10, 2005

yeah - these lines are ok, i was expecting better though! keep 'em comin'!

new-age nomad

on Aug 10, 2005

"vacancy"

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Trinitie

new-age nomad

on Aug 10, 2005

Oh, or...

"Only fags and metrosexuals wear belt buckles"

Trinitie

shadesofgrey

on Aug 10, 2005

oh my.

wow.

muggaz, my dear, how do you find these things?

uDigItTheMost

on Aug 11, 2005

I thought of some thinking you're from Australia so if you aren't all these should suck.

Here are 4 from David Letterman:

"I like to take a safari in your Outback"

"G'd'ass mate"

"Hey Matilda, how about some horizontal waltzing?"

"Let me show you why Australia started out as a penal colony"

Okay now here's 5 of mine:

"All this can be yours for one low price"

"Objects may be larger than they appear"

"I know my belt buckle lights up but just pretend it's mistletoe"

"Where's the Blondes at? 'Cause I wanna put my shrimp in another Barbie"

"Are you looking at my belt buckle or the land down under?

Muggaz

on Aug 11, 2005

ok, these are absolutely fantastic! I will let you all know how I go with the respective quips!

i am in hysterics here!

Muggaz

on Aug 11, 2005

if he wants to admit his hee-hee is shrimpy.

well, compared to an elephants hee-hee it is rather shrimpy... but in relation to a bee's hee-hee, it is a king prawn!

it's all relative madame!

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Aug 12, 2005

My dear boy it sounds like you are a smelly poverty stricken peasant if you must "work" for through the winter.
I thought you had atleast the outer trappings of class, you seemed like a rather loyal Maxwellian but now it is clear that you
are a poverty stricken pleb. Perhaps I should fly my son Richard down to Victoria to warm you up.
forcefully yours,
Sir Peter Maxwell

Dr Guy

on Aug 12, 2005

well, compared to an elephants hee-hee it is rather shrimpy... but in relation to a bee's hee-hee, it is a king prawn!

it's all relative madame!

The Walrus has the second largest of all mammals. I will leave it to your imagination who has the largest.

Toblerone

on Aug 12, 2005

Wow I want one. Now to the quips:

"Going down?"

"Pull down tab A, pump handle vigourously until fully inflated and insert into slot B."

"Subliminal message with suggestive undertones..."

"Hi, my name is John Thomas. I'm pleased to MEAT you..."

"SOS. Help me! I'm trapped, let me out."

"Not tonight, I've got a headache."

"What's the matter, never seen one before?!"

"Don't feel too bad, I'm staring at your tits."

"It's alive."

"Want the chance to win instant prizes. See inside the pack for details."

"If you think this is tacky you should see my bedroom."

"He treats me like a mushroom, he keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit."

"See how far you've sunk."

"Caution: White Load."

"Gone fishing, back in 2 weeks."

"Internal pressure: 250psi and rising...I think he likes you."

"Have you lost something down here, or just found something you like?"

"Give me some slack, this is a stressful job."

"If you're naughty I'll hit you."

"Redlight district: zoned for adult services."

Oops, I got a bit carried away there.

Muggaz

on Aug 12, 2005

Toblerone, I was counting on you for some excellence, now i received some! jolly good!

Sir Peter,

I dont know what the devil you are on about... you can send Richard if you like, but i think it would be me teaching him a thing o two, not the other way around. There is nothing but class in my veins, this belt is merely a novelty for my amusement. class me amongst the plebs if you will, but my blood remains as blue as ever.

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