A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
If you want a Grand child, give me a club!
Published on April 20, 2005 By Muggaz In Sex & Romance
As far as the human race has progressed over the millennia, there is at least one facet of our great society that seems to be traversing backwards, woman and men alike can both agree; Masculinity seems to be a dying trait. Whilst it is foolish and outright wrong to say that manliness is lost in this day and age, the chaps of today don’t have the same qualities or traits expected of our grandfathers.

Movie stars like Jude Law and Hugh Grant epitomise the elegance and sensuality of today’s modern man – purchasing beauty products from saloons rather than corner stores, and spending as much time grooming themselves as their female counterparts. Many women would not deny a night with Jude or Hugh, but for raw sexuality you can’t go past the likes of Collin Farrell. As a young man who has grown up without a father from childhood, it is all very confusing to know what women want in a man, and harder to find a sense of identity without a father figure to guide me.

I was raised from the age of 11 by my mother, and if I do say so myself, she has done a mighty fine job – however, for advice in the field of courting and relationships, attracting the opposite sex, and keeping them attracted – she has failed miserably. Only in the last few years as I have found my own sense of self and become emancipated from family confines have I discovered what a woman wants in a man. Let me stress that knowing what a woman wants in a man is very different to actually having it, but I am working on it.

When a young lad asks his mother how to impress a woman, standard response is usually – buy her flowers, gifts, go out of your way to please her and such. If anyone can tell me what your dad said on the matter, I would really like to know. From what I remember of my father, he probably would have said “don’t worry about them – they will come to you” Pretty sound advice I must admit. Any time I spoke to my mother on the issue of the opposite sex, I thought she knew exactly what she was talking about – well, because, she was of the opposite sex. I learnt pretty quickly not to ask my mum about girls any more, well, because, she was a girl, and girls have no idea what creates that gut level primal attraction that was in nature’s grand plan for procreation.

Women don’t like the way things are turning out for them. Real men are few and far between these days, however, as a young lad, it’s is extremely hard to tread the fine line between boorish oaf and sensual man. On one side of the coin, we are being told that metro-sexuality is cool and chicks dig it, yet when we let our feelings get the better of us, woman have an uncanny ability to see right through any façade we may present and witness our insecurities first hand. When it comes to relationships, it would appear as though both men and women are settling for mediocrity. There is an omnipresent fear that we will end up alone, so we can take what we will based on superficial attraction.

Meanwhile, I am working on my designer stubble, and nonchalant hairstyle, whilst all the while smelling nice, busting moves on the dace floor, and letting my girlfriends know they can lean on me. I do know that when I have a son, I will not be letting my wife near him when he needs advice on the ladies, perhaps I am getting too far ahead of myself, because I need to find the mother of my child first – not an easy task – but full credit to my mother, she never said it was going to be easy. Women can rest assured there are a few of us ‘Men’ who get it, or who are willing to learn at least.

on Apr 20, 2005
Mug - you know you're the man n all, but i have to say that you're a little off on this whole perception of women and men. You seem to spend a lot of time thinking about it, as do I, so I can at least respect what you're trying to do.

having said all that, I have to say that the decline in the number of 'manly men' is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm not saying that we should all jump on the metro-sexual bandwagon, but we shouldn't continue to bottle up our feelings either.

What i see happening is a colossal shift in attitudes... it's a shift that's taking place worldwide. Long gone are the days where women were the child bearers and child rearers, while men were the hunter/gatherers... the boundaries have been blurred, and rightfully so.

This shift is NOT a bad thing. There are growing pains involved, and there are people that are just plain unhappy about it, but there are also those lucky individuals who see the benefits of such a change. For people who want to achieve intimacy in their relationships, this is of the utmost importance.

so I have a question... who's happier? the metro-sexual who's in touch with his feelings, who talks about his innermost feelings and desires w/ his significant other, who bares his soul to the woman he loves and thus experiences true intimacy, or the hard, silent, weathered Clint Eastwood type, who bottles up his emotions and remains a cold piece of stone no matter the circumstances?

A lot of this has to do with maturity. When we're 'fumbling thru the innocence of our youth', we think we've got it all figured out, when in truth we have no idea what the hell we want. It's only after a few years of trial and error, a truckload of mistakes, and a few broken hearts that we realize what this whole 'love' business is all about. Some people never learn. In my opinion, relationships are not meant to be a game we play. Sure, lots of people play lots of games, but that's not the way it's meant to be!

That to me is overall what you're describing... 'the game of love'... what do i do to properly attract the opposite sex? what do women want in a man? how am i supposed to act around women?
What happened to just being yourself??? what happened to, 'i'm gonna be who i am, and if they like me that's great and if they don't, that's fine too.'?

Oh how i could go on and on, but i'm gonna mute myself at this point. plenty of targets for you to shoot at Muggaz... take aim and fire.
on Apr 21, 2005
Wow - easy tiger.

This is obviously a touchy subject for us both. I have never been afraid of being myself, and my sensitive side has always been visable to all - this article was more toward the point that I don't really know what a man is supposed to be, due to lack of a father figure, and I guess I find myself somewhat lacking in certain departments... perhaps I am being too harsh on myself, I just want to be the best man I can be, and I ask sometimes if I would be a better person if I had the benefit of my father around the house in those crazy adolescant years.

Thanks for the insight man, as always, you have very valuable input, and I appreciate your wisdom.
on Apr 21, 2005
so who do you identify more with, Jude or Colin? (i think i know the answer to that question)

I completely agree that you are being entirely too hard on yourself and you should just kick back and enjoy being who you are. You have done a fine job of finding your way in the world even w/o a father figure to guide you.

I definitely may have been focusing on 'the other' message in your article... (about masculinity being a dying trait)... either way, stop being so hard on yourself... in the meantime, i'm gonna stop by your 'better gender' article and light you up over there when i get to work tonight.
on Apr 21, 2005
Well, I am much better looking than both Jude and Colin anyway, so it doesn't matter who I relate too more!

I know, I just have to trust myself a bit more.

Jolly Good.
on Apr 21, 2005
Hmm, I think you're reading way too much SPM Muggaz. If that's possible.

"Masculinity seems to be a dying trait. "

This statement comes across pretty misinformed. Masculinity is going through one of hundreds of changes it's been through. Not that long ago it was normal for men to wear make up (not in Australia, whose white culture is too young to have been through much transition). Throughout the world, masculinity is very different even today. For instance, Italy is "the home of machism", as it was described to me, but you'd be hard-pressed to find the sort of oafish jocks you find in Australia. Masculinity still means having grace. And feminine sensuality actually involves a great deal of confidence and forwardness. Throughout the ages, what a man is "supposed to be" has gone through many many changes.

As to catching the ladies, I can relate to your point about mothers teaching you to be a bit too sensitive, but in the end you have to be yourself or else you'll just pick up a lot of vacuous sluts who will make you unhappy, make you feel numb and bore you to tears (because you're too smart for that rubbish).