I don’t know how many nice guys are reading this right now, by the same token, I don’t know how many jerks are reading either, but this is one of those feel good blogs that hopefully installs a little bit of faith toward the disenchanted.
Disenchanted – a word I have used to describe myself and sentiments many times, and I am sure it will become no stranger to me in the future. Relationships and girls and the whole courting scene are what had me disenchanted. I could never really get where I wanted with the girls I wanted, because I was a perennial nice guy. Let me emphasise the word ‘nice’ I saw what I wanted, made steps of acquirement, but usually I would fall short.
Lesson number one – If you want something, you have to take it.
How many guys have thought to themselves – “damn bitches, always complaining about the jerks they end up with, when the nice guys are staring them in the face” come on, be honest – I was one of those guys. It was something that really troubled me, and something that I could never explain, then I learnt something life changing – Woman are irrational creatures, and trying to rationalise their deeds and acts is an entirely fruitless exercise.
This led me to the next step of my development – If being nice and sensitive doesn’t work for a good looking guy like me, what exactly would work? This sounds a little funny, but going against my intuition and normal logic was a great advancement
– i.e. chick complains she is fat, when clearly she is hot to trot and is only seeking attention… the logical thing to do if you liked this girl would be to compliment her – very nice guyesque… “No you don’t look fat, you are beautiful... blah blah blah…”
Wrong.
In this particular situation, I would agree with the girl, and remark “I hope you are looking at the Atkins diet, doing wonders for people with a figure like yours”
This communicates that you don’t seek her approval, and you do not exist just to build her ego – and you aren’t exactly being mean, in fact, you should get a laugh out of the girl.
You could say that I became a classic walk over in my last relationship, however, when that ended, I vowed it was an area of my life that I would gain control of. Right now, you can’t wipe the smile of my face. I would say I am still a nice guy, but I would also say that I am coming first at the moment. Using the above methods, I have found a girl that I can happily entertain a relationship with.
I didn’t ask to kiss her, I just did it… Guys – have the confidence in yourselves and the fact that your reality is a great place. If your reality isn’t such a great place, it’s your responsibility to change that place. It’s not about where we are coming from, but where are we going?
The next time a young man complains to me that nice guys finish last, hopefully I can show him a picture of my new girlfriend, and explain that she fell for me, because I was a nice guy, yet, a nice guy who knows exactly where he is coming from, knows where he is going, and does not settle for mediocrity.
As Rick James would say – It’s a celebration bitches