A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
winner right here.
Published on February 7, 2005 By Muggaz In Dating
I don’t know how many nice guys are reading this right now, by the same token, I don’t know how many jerks are reading either, but this is one of those feel good blogs that hopefully installs a little bit of faith toward the disenchanted.

Disenchanted – a word I have used to describe myself and sentiments many times, and I am sure it will become no stranger to me in the future. Relationships and girls and the whole courting scene are what had me disenchanted. I could never really get where I wanted with the girls I wanted, because I was a perennial nice guy. Let me emphasise the word ‘nice’ I saw what I wanted, made steps of acquirement, but usually I would fall short.

Lesson number one – If you want something, you have to take it.

How many guys have thought to themselves – “damn bitches, always complaining about the jerks they end up with, when the nice guys are staring them in the face” come on, be honest – I was one of those guys. It was something that really troubled me, and something that I could never explain, then I learnt something life changing – Woman are irrational creatures, and trying to rationalise their deeds and acts is an entirely fruitless exercise.

This led me to the next step of my development – If being nice and sensitive doesn’t work for a good looking guy like me, what exactly would work? This sounds a little funny, but going against my intuition and normal logic was a great advancement

– i.e. chick complains she is fat, when clearly she is hot to trot and is only seeking attention… the logical thing to do if you liked this girl would be to compliment her – very nice guyesque… “No you don’t look fat, you are beautiful... blah blah blah…”

Wrong.

In this particular situation, I would agree with the girl, and remark “I hope you are looking at the Atkins diet, doing wonders for people with a figure like yours”

This communicates that you don’t seek her approval, and you do not exist just to build her ego – and you aren’t exactly being mean, in fact, you should get a laugh out of the girl.

You could say that I became a classic walk over in my last relationship, however, when that ended, I vowed it was an area of my life that I would gain control of. Right now, you can’t wipe the smile of my face. I would say I am still a nice guy, but I would also say that I am coming first at the moment. Using the above methods, I have found a girl that I can happily entertain a relationship with.

I didn’t ask to kiss her, I just did it… Guys – have the confidence in yourselves and the fact that your reality is a great place. If your reality isn’t such a great place, it’s your responsibility to change that place. It’s not about where we are coming from, but where are we going?

The next time a young man complains to me that nice guys finish last, hopefully I can show him a picture of my new girlfriend, and explain that she fell for me, because I was a nice guy, yet, a nice guy who knows exactly where he is coming from, knows where he is going, and does not settle for mediocrity.

As Rick James would say – It’s a celebration bitches

Comments
on Feb 07, 2005
Good article Muggaz. If only they taught you this stuff in school.

Were you inspired by my latest entry by any chance or is this just a freaky coincidence?
on Feb 07, 2005
This is a nice article and it's good to know nice guys dont' always finish last - althought I think most of us girls already knew that.

But Mugz, it's safe to say, you can be bold and do whatever you want, however, the girl have to be receptive to whatever move you make. So, there has to be some liking on her part for the guy in question or else, that most certainly would be a bad move.

That said, there are some of us women who like a guy to take charge and "...have the confidence in yourselves and the fact that your reality is a great place." Yes, It's being confindent enough to make the move.
on Feb 07, 2005
It just all depends on the girl. Although, lots of girls do like a guy who can take charge and isn't always crawling on his knees to seek her approval. I like your fat girl example. Sounds like you have a good balance between being a nice guy without being a doormat.

Oh, and watch out for those girls who only like you coz you're good in bed.

~Sarah
on Feb 07, 2005
Lesson number one – If you want something, you have to take it.


I'd be careful applying that one, boy howdy. You'd end up on the wrong side of my fist if ya tried to take me. But being a nice guy, I'm sure you're better at discerning when those times come and go.

So do we get to see a picture of this girl who got so lucky? I'd love to slander her with jealousy. J/K.

-A.
on Feb 09, 2005
Hmm... my faithful readers have shown their intelligence again, and all raise valid points... of course girls, it is circumstantial and does depend on the girl, but as you correctly assume, by the time I make a move, I have already discerned that she wants some

let's face it, she is only humanb, how can she resist?

A - you will see a photo soon enough, we all know I am one to gloat, and she is certainly worth gloating over... I am a very lucky young man!
on Feb 13, 2005
Muggaz: my mother always said to me I was too nice for my own good. In my early 30's, I decided to be nice no longer and it damn near killed me because I was going against my basic nature (I'm not being egotistical, just honest).

Nice guys DO win occasionally. Sure, we don't might not necessarily win when WE want to, but we do win in the end. If I'd given up on my wife years ago, when she was guilty of being attracted to bastards, we wouldn't be together and as happy as we are now.

Great article, mate. Insightful, even.

Cheers,

Maso
on Feb 15, 2005
Nice guys DO win occasionally. Sure, we don't might not necessarily win when WE want to, but we do win in the end. If I'd given up on my wife years ago, when she was guilty of being attracted to bastards, we wouldn't be together and as happy as we are now


Damn straight... I am not a religious man - but...

TESTIFY!!!!

on Feb 15, 2005
Neither am I, but...

HALLELUJAH

on Feb 23, 2005
I have planned an article on why nice guys always finish first for the future...one of the many life lessons taught to me by New Caledonia and which inspired my new philosophical outloook.But the basic summation is that if you are nice, you have already won because you feel good by not being nasty. You aren't consumed by negativity.

But you are very right. It's amazing how far you can get when you decide to be arrogant with women and just assume you can get them. However, the other thing I learned after learning that lesson... you don't usually get the women that nice guys like for a very long time. You get the hot chicks, the chicks who you may even think you like for their personality for a little while (probably because you are attracted to the heir of confidence they give off, which is really just a cover for their insecurities, unlike real women who don't need t flaunt their confidence, but just are confident) but the real women will always see you as an arrogant prick. But hey you're young experiment.

I gave some of the advice you have given here to Toblerone once and I have since realised a difference between him and I. I refer to having "put in some good work" with a girl, meaning that I have gotten to the point where I might be able to kiss her. Whereas, Tobler is less likely to succeed with women than I, but this is because he has the integrity to be himself. I on the other hand am too damned impatient to wait for the right woman and all that stuff.
on Feb 24, 2005
because he has the integrity to be himself


Wow, now this is insightful, Champas.

Women will always be smarter than men, in my books (this is an article I'm in the process of writing). We're the ones who play up to them for their affections, often pretending to be something we're not.
on Feb 24, 2005
I kind of disagree with points of your article and disagree with others.

I'm a woman. I don't like assholes or bastards. I admit to having dated a few, but also broke up with them when I found out what jerks they were. I like nice guys. Why would I waste my time with someone who isn't going to treat me well? Having said that, I like my nice guy to be a strong person. Mainly, this is so that I don't have to pretend to be a weak woman to make my guy feel better. Ironically, or not, I also want to feel that should I not be strong enough to do something on my own (I don't mean physical strength) that my guy is strong enough to help me. I like to feel that if necessary, he can protect me. However, if the chips are down, I'm just as willing to stand up for my guy, too.

Then there is that wild card of sexual attraction. Sorry, I can't explain that one. It still remains a mystery to me. I think that the above has a lot to do with it, but not all.

I have a theory, that sometimes women mistake the being a jerk/asshole thing for the ability to protect them or keep them safe. There is something about a tough guy who has a tender streak just for you. Perhaps those guys exist, but they are well camoflauged by the assholes.

Basically it works like this, if you are an asshole I might date you once or twice (or however long until I discover your true nature). If you are a nice buy weak guy I might date you a few times but I will probably break up with you because I feel that I have to repress myself to make you feel better. Eventually, I will be unhappy. If you are a nice guy who is strong and decisive, I will probably go out with you for a while and then break up for the lack of sexual chemistry. It has to be there for both parties, right? If it develops as we know each other (and this has happened to me) then great. If I love you and cherish you as a friend, please accept that I realize what an amazing human being you are and I will probably try to set you up with one of my friends if you don't freak out about not "getting any." If you are a nice guy who is strong and decisive, and we have a mutual sexual attraction, I'm going to marry you (or at least really want to). If you are a strong, decisive nice guy, but I'm the only one who feels the attraction, I'm going to be majorly bummed and you might feel a little freaked out.

I don't know if this helps you guys, but this is as honest as I can make it.

ps The atkins diet joke? Major flop in my opinion. I wouldn't respect a guy who did that. Then again, that's personal taste, I suppose.
on Feb 25, 2005
Hmm, Momijiki might be onto something here. My wife tells all her friends she married me because: a. I'm tall and can reach high places she can't get to, b. I'm strong and can lift heavy things, c. I'm useful to have around in case she needs protecting, d. I'm honest and reliable, and e. I'm great in bed (okay, I'm saying this myself, but I'm sure she'll agree with me).
on Feb 25, 2005
a. I'm tall and can reach high places she can't get to, b. I'm strong and can lift heavy things, c. I'm useful to have around in case she needs protecting, d. I'm honest and reliable, and e. I'm great in bed (okay, I'm saying this myself, but I'm sure she'll agree with me).


All perfectly acceptable reasons and with the exception of c (I think I could kick a lot of ass if I were angry enough), all reasons I married H.

-A.