We always hear the rules from the female side, Now here are the rules
from the male side.

These are 'OUR' rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON
PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat, you're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down we need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, see a doctor.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides, Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want, let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do, sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour and Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine, Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or
monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape, round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight. Did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.