Man, am i having excessive problems concentrating at work right now. I have got to say, ever since i got back from the festive break, i have done absolutely nothing pro-active at all... but i am still doing my job, and doing it well!!! hehe, i really like my job!!!
I am really at a cross roads right now though... i mean, 21 is a really wierd age to be... its young enough to not settle down, but its old enough to start thinking what you wat to do with your life. I might as well get this out now... in spite of my socialist beleifs, i personally want to be very successful and have a comfortable environment for my wife and kids to live and prosper in... now, here is the cross road - i dont know exactly how, or where i am going to do that.
I am going to Europe in the second half of this year... this will be for a bear minimum of 3 years... you know what my greatest fear about this trip is though? the fear that i will like it too much and have absolutely no desire to return home. I have no problems attaining an English passport due to my parentage, so working Visa's anywhere in Europe is a problem i will not encounter. My good friend Nick has recetly got back from a year stay in London, and he had the time of his life... he is heading back shortly before i head over... the way he talks, i beleive it is his intention to live over there, but he is one of those guys whose mind chages like his underwear... I dont know, i just think the lifestyle will be extremely agreeable for me... i know this sounds rediculous, but the class A contraband is so easily accesable, and just quitely, that would suit my lifestyle quite nicely. I also know i have almost double my earning capacity over there... i have had 3 years in the IT industry and i am only 21 - and they love Australians over there as well, for some reason they think we have a tremendous work ethic, which we do to some degree, but we only look so good to them because they are so lazy and out the door at 5.30!!! i really cant wait to pick up fine eastern European woman as well... how deviant of me, i know, but they love rich westerners in the baltic states, and i plan on taking advantage of that fact
I suppose i will miss my brother Tim the most... but to be honest with you, i am going to persuade him to come with me for a while, i think he would also enjoy the lifestyle immensely... Dont get me wrong, i love Australia with all of my heart, thats why i am having trouble with the concept... no matter where it is i reside, Melbourne will always be my home. I am not so closed minded though to not explore other oppurtunities... ever since i got of the plane back from France in 1998 i have wanted to leave again...
Another great lifestyle benefit would be the soccer... man, i live for that stuff, and if i can actually attend a few premier league games, my life will be complete... actually, the whole basis of this trip is to make the World Cup in Germany in 2006, and everything else was just a side note, but as i have matured, i have realised what else Europe has to offer me...
I guess the best thing that i can do is cross each bridge as i come to it, and just be careful not to burn any along the way.
This also brings me to another personal dilema... There is something i really crave at the moment... as i have mentioned, i am probably the happiest i have ever been in my life right now... but i still miss that female companion... i feel a little empty, and i crave the security that a relationship brings, but at the same time, i dont want to go and fall in love before i go OS later this year, because this is something i am doing for myself, by myself and not for anyone else... so the idea of bringing a GF OS or leaving one here is propostorous to me... however, my desires need to be fulfilled... i cant control what happens with my emotions...
That being said... Nick is single again... so we are going to the harp tonight in Kew... this pub has a plethora of hot chicks, and the ratio is really quite good... dont assume so much as to think i would forgo an evening of sex because the girl may get hurt... I have just come to a point in my life, where i have to stop being so naive and nice... this western world does not cater for the nice guy... it caters for the assertive one... i know what i want, and now, i know what i need to do to get it... How particularly shallow of me... but if it is any consolation... i can assure you that i will make the lucky girl climax
I dont set out to hurt anyone... like i am sure the girls who have hurt me didn't set out to do so... unfortunately it is dog eat dog out there...
I feel great for writing that down...