Glorified Lawnmowers!

Heaven is in the back seat of my Datsun 180Y

Published on October 4, 2004 By Muggaz In Misc

Heaven may or may not be in the back seat of my Cadillac, but is it because I have a Cadillac, that you want me to take you there?

Vroom, Vroom, Vroom… you will hear a lot of that on Sunday television in Australia, and I am sure the same is true in North America as well… males have a peculiar fascination with things that go vroom, vroom, and I would argue, the bigger the fascination, the higher need for compensation.

This isn’t the first time anyone has suggested that males with an inclination for powerful machines are merely compensating for a lack of horse power in the bedroom – Vehicular sociologists everywhere have been trying to establish the link with high performance machines, and low performance men for quite some time.

I witness over exuberant males cruising around the streets of Melbourne in their done up cars, body kits, modifications, fuzzy dice, and a short skirt in the passenger seat, I don’t know what it was in society that conditioned me to think this way, but I automatically assume the driver of said vehicle suffers from some sort of vertical deficiency.

These machines are nothing more than glorified lawn mowers with a shiny coat and a capacity for transportation. How many F-100 drivers do you come across and you instantly think they are in touch with their sexuality and are comfortable with what they represent – sure, they drive a big truck, so they must have a big dick… right? That may or may not be the case; I bet they don’t know how to use it though.

What type of self respecting female thinks more of a guy because of the car he drives anyway? If you want to join me in the back seat of my Cadillac, just because I have a Cadillac, you are probably as shallow as bucket seats, and sexual excitement is probably the limit of your female powers – don’t get me wrong, cars are great for many activities other than driving, but what happens when the next guy with a better car comes along, how will I compensate for my deficiencies? Providing I had any that is

I have a 15 year old automobile, but it certainly gets me from A to B, and any seasoned ‘driver’ will tell you, It’s not the car you drive, but how you drive it. No amount of metallic paint or body work will change your back seat performance… You meet more chicks on the train anyway… I won’t get started on Train drivers and their insecurities though!

BAM!!!

Comments

MANDKS

on Oct 04, 2004

- okay you know how I told you all the good stuff about people are stupid for saying "That was a great article" or "how awesome." Well I lied. Shocked eh? I do lie

That was really really funny!! IT reminds me of the whole thing that happened yesterday......at the very end of one email some unamed person

said:

FUCK YOU AND YOUR SUV

oneofus

on Oct 04, 2004

What type of self respecting female thinks more of a guy because of the car he drives anyway?

Well, I think You got it wrong.

The female mind works like this:
"He has the money to have a nice car / a car done up nice / so he 'll have the money to spend on me" - it's probably subconcious, and some people will say it goes back to the image of "male-provider". Additionally, women (just like men, I'd say) like attention and when they have a guy with a nice car, they get the attention just for riding with him.

So, really, there's very few women who wouldn't like for their guy to have a great set of wheels (a 100 years ago it was "a great stallion"), but what You probably wanted to say is "no self-rescpecting female will think more of the guy JUST because he the car he drives". Here I can agree.

MANDKS

on Oct 04, 2004

"He has the money to have a nice car / a car done up nice / so he 'll have the money to spend on me" - it's probably subconcious, and some people will say it goes back to the image of "male-provider". Additionally, women (just like men, I'd say) like attention and when they have a guy with a nice car, they get the attention just for riding with him.

Well this doesn't have to be the case. A self-respecting woman that is confident in herself will probably do the opposite. Lets say a strong, independent, self-respecting woman is walking down the sidewalk to the subway station. A guy pulls up on the side of the road in his decked out benz and drops a cheesy line like, "Hey baby, can I take you out for a drive sometime." The girl will automatically think, "Does this guy actually think I am going to give him a chance in hell because he has a nice car. I'm insulted! I can't believe he has the nerve to pull up to me on the side of the road as if I'm some prostitute that can be picked up merely because he got ripped off when buying that car, which he probably only gives unleaded gas to anyway. What a Jackass!" lol and she would probably toss her hair to the side and continue walking...

Angloesque

on Oct 04, 2004

FUCK YOU AND YOUR SUV

Even though you're slammin' it a bit, I think I want that bumper sticker....

Mugz, I still get checked out by guys who seem to think that their noise-polluting big-ass Chevy trucks are the way to pick up chicks. Yeah, baby, rev that engine again and see if I don't toss a rock through your windshield if you get close enough.

-A.

MANDKS

on Oct 04, 2004

noise-polluting big-ass Chevy trucks

I like those kind of guys....lol,

Shows how macho they are

just kidding, I like the guys in the oldfashioned bugs...the ones that are bright yellow and have like a peace sign on the side of them.....

stevendedalus

on Oct 04, 2004

This isn’t the first time anyone has suggested that males with an inclination for powerful machines are merely compensating for a lack of horse power in the bedroom --as well as assault weapons.

WiseFawn

on Oct 04, 2004

Getting from point A to point B is the only point!!

Wonderful to see an article from you!!!

Shovelheat

on Oct 04, 2004

sure, they drive a big truck, so they must have a big dick… right?

Hmmm...I drive a Ford Ranger...

WiseFawn

on Oct 04, 2004

I'm guessing that since muggaz is just a visitor now, he can write but not respond?

Angloesque

on Oct 04, 2004

WF--Mugz should be able to respond. Sir Pete is at visitor status and can post on his own articles--though this one is posted in the forum, and SPM's was not--maybe that's the difference? I really don't know.

I like Mugz--he's a good guy. One of my favorite bloggers.

-A.

Muggaz

on Oct 05, 2004

Keep your shirt on guys!!! I can respond - and how!!! What lovely comments from you guys

Hmmm...I drive a Ford Ranger...

I don't know what that is, but yay?

the ones that are bright yellow and have like a peace sign on the side of them.....

Yeah - those are my kind of guys as well... I mean as friends

Mugz, I still get checked out by guys who seem to think that their noise-polluting big-ass Chevy trucks are the way to pick up chicks.

I am sure you get checked out by any guy A... you just laugh at the guys in the pickup trucks right? I think it's hilarious how they are called 'pickup' trucks... what are you picking up? a girl, or an elephant?

This isn’t the first time anyone has suggested that males with an inclination for powerful machines are merely compensating for a lack of horse power in the bedroom --as well as assault weapons

hehe - good show!

BAM!!!

The Crusaders

on Oct 08, 2004

When I met my partner twelve years ago he had no car.....So what is that supposed to mean??

I don't care what car I drive as long as it gets me safely where I want to go.

Muggaz

on Oct 09, 2004

I don't care what car I drive as long as it gets me safely where I want to go.

A great euphamism TC

When I met my partner twelve years ago he had no car.....So what is that supposed to mean??

It means you were driving him everywhere! hehe...

BAM!!!

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