A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
developing good ones!
Published on September 5, 2004 By Muggaz In Life Journals
I went to bed last night, aching from a massive weekend of snowboarding, smoking and drinking – basically debauchery that has made me feel a little worse for wear – I mean, the snowboarding was fantastic, and I had the time of my life, but as I was trying to sleep, coughing and spluttering, I realise part of my life has to change.

Everyone has bad habits, some worse than others, and from my own personal perspective, I have two terrible habits – one is smoking cigarettes, and the other is smoking marijuana. These are two habits I would like to get rid of, in light of making me a better person.

Smoking cigarettes – well, to be honest, on Monday – Friday I would only smoke two a day maximum, one with my coffee in the mornings, and possibly another one at some stage during the day – I know this isn’t excessively bad for me, but once I hit the pubs and clubs, I become a chimney and smoke, and smoke, and smoke some more. When you wake up the next morning with your lungs feeling like an ashen fireplace, it isn’t the greatest feeling in the world.

As far as smoking pot goes – well, I guess that’s a legacy of my youth, and it’s a habit I really want to get rid of. The first time I smoked marijuana was when I was 11 years old, on the last day of year 7, I smoked maybe a handful of times throughout my schooling years, then as soon as school finished It became a habitual weekend thing, and then even during the week, I have no one to blame for falling into this hole other than myself, but I can tell you, the environment of my peers and friends certainly didn’t help.

While marijuana is mostly harmless compared to other drugs, I know the quality of my life will improve if I kick the habit. I haven’t had any psychotic episodes you hear about with people on pot, but I would rather curb the habit before that happens. Whilst it hasn’t had that much a detrimental effect on my social life and motivation, I just know I could be such a better person, and healthier If I quite smoking marijuana. I will tell you right now, after a hard night out clubbing, or a hard weekend snowboarding, I will still enjoy the occasional joint, but I don’t want to make it a weekly thing, which it has been for the last few years.

I know it is going to be very hard work – especially when my immediate circle of friends bar a couple smoke, ciggies, and weed, but the couple that don’t are mates that I spend most of my weekends with, so I think that shall help me in my quest to live a cleaner and healthier life. I have said a few times before that I was going to cut back on weed and give up cigarettes, but I have never followed through – that’s why I am writing it down, for all you guys to see as well.

I have a quarterly bonus from work coming up, and I plan on purchasing some track pants and track shoes so I can get my fitness levels back to when I was a teenager, I will join the gym, and hopefully put some weight on… I am too skinny, and whilst I don’t plan on becoming a muscle bound Adonis, a bit more definition and broadness in the shoulders and arms will make me feel much better about myself…

That’s what this little resolution is all about – I don’t have the disposition to worry about myself so much, but this desire to improve myself isn’t made on the basis of anyone else’s opinion of me, it’s about self awareness, and me being the best person I can be. I am glad I am writing this on my blog, because it will be a constant reminder to myself that I have resolved to do this, and hopefully I have the capacity to reach my desires.

Wish me luck friends… I think I will need it!

BAM!!!

Comments (Page 1)
on Sep 05, 2004
I know how ya feel...Link

on Sep 05, 2004
If you really want to have an affect on your lifestyle, please consider:

Living a healthy lifestyle is not a result of not smoking, not drinking, not whatever.

Not smoking, not drinking, and not whatever is a result of living a healthy lifestyle.

If that's confusing, the difference is this. In the former case you attribute the health of the lifestyle to something external. In the latter, the change begins internal and the changes come naturally. You don't smoke because your thinking is clean not because you think quitting smoking will clean your thinking. My writing sux tonight, forgive.
Edit: ZZZZZt rewrite

Clean thinking causes not smoking.

Not smoking does not cause clean thinking.

Begin with humility.

Keep reading that sentence until you stop questioning it. When you stop questioning it completely, you no longer need to read it.

Good luck. I wish you the best.
on Sep 05, 2004
Muggaz,

You know what I did.....I said to myself ...Whooaaaa....am I going to do this for the rest of my life.....I 've done it for so many years....I know what this lifestyle is like...I've done it to death.....OK ...I'll quit it for a month and see how it feels.....and if I don't like being healthy and fit after a month I can always go back to my old ways. Really ..that just takes the pressure off and gets you started ...the first few days to a week may be the hardest but by the time a month comes round you're feeling better, breathing easier, the brains working a little faster....so you say well I'm feeling good I think I'll do this for another month...see how I go. Another month goes past and you feel like you've replaced your old habits with refreshing new ones...and your more than likely not go back!

Good luck, Muggaz, you can do it and you will be happier for it.
on Sep 05, 2004
Good luck Muggaz

It will be my job to let everyone here know when i see you sneaking a smoke in!

THE TRUTH WILL NOT BE HIDDEN
on Sep 05, 2004
Muggaz,
My hat's off to you for doing what you can to to "make yourself a better person." I do agree, those things probably don't improve your way of life (all aspects considered). The one thing I might suffest to you is to realize that you can't do it on your own. We all need people. None of us are lone rangers or the next Batman . . . heck, he even has a Robin and an Alfred. Get some positive reinforcement to work with you to see this come to pass. And (I hope this doesn't upset you) but I encourage you to try God. I know that some of the things that I've had to get out of my life to allow me to be who I am only came about because I really relied on God's help. Anyway, all the best and kick it out and don't let it back! Blessings.
on Sep 05, 2004
Muggaz! Shame shame young man! lol. Yeah it would be a nice thing for you to stop. It kind of angers me thought that you're putting yourself through this. My uncle is a pot smoker. And I hate to see everything he goes through. I think if my knowlege is right, he' been smoking it since he was 15. And he's as skinny as a rail. I guess he's not in such a health that is harmful, but it feels funny to look at your uncle when all he is, is skin and bones pretty much. But what makes it worse is that I didn't find out about this until a little over a year ago. He had lied to me my who life telling me he'd never smoked anything or did drugs. It made me furious when I found out. He'd been hiding it from his whole family for years. Now I can never talk to him in the same way anymore. Sometimes he frightens me, i don't know why, but he just does. And sometimes you can smell it on him, and it disgusts me. My parents used to smoke, but finally quit after 14+ years. I have allergies(sometimes they can get really bad) and I also have asthma. So for 14 years of my life I was surrounded by smoke like 24/7. I hated it, I couldn't breath hardly. My parents knew how hard it was for me too. But it was just so hard for them to stop. But finally they did. and I know you can Muggaz. I love you like a brother and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you from these nasty habits. I wish you the best of luck on kicking them in the rear! And I'm here if you need any moral support.

*hugs and kisses for Muggaz*

~carebear~
on Sep 05, 2004
Muggaz. I love you like a brother and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you from these nasty habits. I wish you the best of luck on kicking them in the rear! And I'm here if you need any moral support.


Awwww!!!! Thanks CB!!! That means a lot to me...

The whole outpouring of support for me here means a lot to me!!! I know I can do it, and these well wishes only increase my desire to succeed, if I dont succeed, I will not only be letting myself down, but I will be letting you guys down as well... and that is the very last thing I need to do... Ockhams - your little tirade made perfect sense to me

You guys are awesome...

BAM!!!
on Sep 05, 2004
I'm glad it means that much to you Muggaz!! Because you mean a lot to me as a person. Even though I don't truly know you. I know you can do it too! I'm supporting you 120% of the way too!

You're awesome too Muggaz.....

~carebear~
on Sep 06, 2004
Well well, I wasn't expecting this. Good luck Muggzy, but don't look to me for support, I'm a filthy smoker that hasn't gotten around to really trying to quit yet. I can support you with non-drinking and non-weed smoking though, since I don't do either of them As for the gym...you know, sex is just as good of a workout
on Sep 06, 2004
I can support you with non-drinking


Whoah, back up Macky - no one said anything at all about not drinking Your support is noted and appreciated

So, you getting fit again Macky?

You're awesome too Muggaz.....


CB - you are supposed to tell me something I dont know!! I crack myself up...

BAM!!!

on Sep 06, 2004
So, you getting fit again Macky?


Yes, quite
on Sep 06, 2004
Good on ya man! That's awesome news!

I was in pretty much the same boat as you a couple of years ago. I realised that I couldnt continue the way I was going for the rest of my life and that every second I did was bringing me down a little more and smothering my potential. I decided I had to quit with the crap and gave both up cold turkey! I was thinking about doing it (quitting) for a while though and it took a while to get me thinking without any doubt "This is what I'm going to do and there is no turning back!".

I was actually quite surprised how well I went actually... after being a 25pack and Q per week person for years, there was relatively no withdrawal symptoms. Although while I was addicted to the crap, I battled a little with anxiety and depression. But I kicked it. This is why I'm a huge believer that you can do pretty much ANYTHING on your own if you only set your mind to it. All this rubbish about people needing patches and pills to help them quit only is needed because they THINK they can't and are told they can't do it by themselves. Just find something else to do while having your morning coffee instead of having a ciggie and the same goes for when the bong usually gets pulled out...

You're a strong bloke and you have the conviction to quit... and you will. No problems.
on Sep 06, 2004
CB - you are supposed to tell me something I dont know!! I crack myself up...


Well it seems to me that you know a lot, so therefore I can not tell you something you don't know. Yeah...i bet you crack yourself up......

~carebear~
on Sep 06, 2004
Good luck, Mugs. I don't know if I'm ready to quit smoking, but I do know what you mean about feeling like hell after the party's over. As far as smoking up goes... say, I didn't know that losing weight was a part of it... hmmm. Just kidding. I wish you the best, as always.
nic
on Sep 07, 2004
I, too, enjoyed Ock's advice.

I love you lots, Mark, and reading the title of this blog made my heart sing. Know you are loved and supported by lots of strangers across the world, that will be your saving grace.

Trinitie