Possibly the greatest form of entertainment ever!

Chess Boxing

Published on July 12, 2004 By Muggaz In Entertainment

I was fortunate to chance upon this Link in my quest for ultimate glory! Excactly what ultimate glory is, well, that remains to be seen, but chess boxing is defintely involved in some way.

The World Chess Boxing prefaces this glorious epitomy of perfection as follows ~

The World Chess Boxing Organization (WCBO) has taken the patronage of this new sport under its wing. It propagates the spread of chessboxing to all five continents. Upcoming stations planned for chessboxing galas in 2004 are Berlin and Moscow. In the summer of 2004, the first chessboxing gym will be opened in the Berlin district of Prenzlauer Berg.

The task of the WCBO is to train people in the no. 1 thinking sport and the no. 1 fighting sport, and in the combination of both. In the future new training methods will be developed in cooperation with experts from both sport worlds, sport scientists and neurologists.

One of the goals of this new sport is the old ideal of a healthy mind in a healthy body: mens sana in corpore sano. During a chessboxing fight the control of aggression plays a big role. That's why WCBO's motto is: "Fighting is done in the ring and wars are waged on the board".

Can anyone else imagine a better form of entertainment?

Sure, there is full contact, and possibly a little blood, Chess players and boxers are not famous for their good looks either, but please, tell me there would be some woman captivated by Chess boxing?

How can anyone disregard a challenge that aims at the perfection of the brain by brilliant strategising and anticipation, and then the endurance of suffering many bouts to said brain! you cant go wrong!

The game starts with a board placed in the centre of the boxing ring, and the round is timed. The combatants are seated across each other, enduring the ultimate battle of strategy for a meagre 4 minutes... Then the gloves are off!!! wait, no, they are quickly fitted with the head-gear (their mothers make them wear it) as well. They then proceed to pound the crap out of each other!

Imagine the trash talk...

"my knight is riding more than his horse... he was riding your momma last night!"

"you can shove that bishop up your a$$..."

The game is over when one combatant is either knocked out, or is found in check mate!

My room mate is a big, big fan of chess... it takes up a lot of his time... I have already had him sign the appropriate papers that make me his manager (it was scrawled on a napkin - a big X) I own him now. He is good as well... I can allready see his name on the marque, he already has the mandatory 4 syllable surname to be taken seriously!

I will now trawl through the Yahoo chat rooms for the skiniest, nerdiest, extremely intelligent dudes, and coax them into a challenge! I dont know, I will tell them that they will level up 10 points or something - they to will be enchanted by the magic that is chess boxing!

We all know Don King - the infamous manager of Mike Tyson and many others... I haven't told you yet, but I some day aspire to have as much bling (www.urban-dictionary.com

) as that man... I know nothing about boxing, and he already runs the show - I am no second fidle! so that field is closed to me... and everyone knows the Russian's run the Chess rackets... I dont want to mess with Yuri... but Chess Boxing... the sky is the limit!

Imagine the advertising I would be able to sell on my live feed webcasts of premier events! I scoff at FOX's minor offers, because nerds dont care about NFL, and those other extreme sports crazy no neck danger freaks seem to enjoy! The internet is the domain of the Chess Boxer...

Where to for chess boxing in the immediate future? well, who knows? I will be doing my part to propogate it's development across the globe! I think the Germans who developed the concept are onto something here!!! It's time for the nerds to fight back. I know plenty of nerds who could check mate Mike Tyson in 4 minutes.

Revenge of the nerds... mens sana in corpore sano.indeed!

BAM!!!

Comments

Floozie

on Jul 12, 2004

Can I be one of the girls holding up the round number placards? Instead of a bikini I will don a pair of trousers that are just that little bit too short so that you can see my sexy white socks and sensible shoes. I will have red suspenders - but not the nice lacy one's for stockings, the ones that hold your trousers up, and a pocket protector. Oh, and the requisite thick framed glasses with tape holding them together in the middle!

This reminds me of another weird extreme sport that Triple J introduced me to. Extreme Ironing. If I remember correctly their slogan was something like 'EI combines the thrill of extreme sports with the satisfaction one gets from a well ironed shirt' Sounds riveting!

Great article. Let me know when you have achieved domination of the 'fit nerd' circuit!

Muggaz

on Jul 12, 2004

Can I be one of the girls holding up the round number placards?

yeah, i guess so!!! that outfit sounds almost too good to be true! Do you think Chess Boxing will get the 'grunt' element from your provocative card waving? perhaps you can suffer nose bleed mid-break! second round is where the guys go crazy... that's when you put the asthma pump to your lips in a sensual fashion

The commentators would have to be fresh with their star trek and star wars quotes - ready to drop them at pivotal moments during the encounter! A european accent is also standard issue!

Oh, this is the new glamour event for sure

BAM!!!

Floozie

on Jul 12, 2004

For the x-rated version I shall prance around in my long underwear and for a special treat I will flash my beige, ultra supportive grandma bra. The men will go wild!

Mandy

on Jul 12, 2004

THat's pretty rad! I would totally participate in a round! It's a pretty wicked idea! I would knock you out mugz!!! lol

KellyW0498

on Jul 12, 2004

Hey...I would order the pay per view on this one!
Awesome...and thanks for visiting my site...

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