One Hand or Two?

d'oh!

Published on June 10, 2004 By Muggaz In Humor

A man goes to the hospital because he is having pains in his stomach.

He tells the doc what is wrong and the doc says "You have constipation, you will need to take one of these suppositorys every 6 hours for a week.

I can help you with the first one." So, reluctantly, the man drops his pants, bends over, and the doc inserts it in.

Later, at home, he is having a little trouble inserting the next one, so he asks his wife for help. He tells her what to do, drops his pants and bends over. She then puts one hand on his shoulder and starts pushing it in.

"Damn!" the guy screams.

"What? Did I hurt you?" his wife replies.

"No," said the man "But I just realised something...the doctor put 2 hands on my shoulders!!!"

BAM!!!

Comments

Sally jacobs

on Jun 10, 2004

LMAO...how rude! I'm going to pretend I'm to innocent to understand though....so what was that about then? Hehe....

Mr_Frog

on Jun 10, 2004

ba dum dum *ching*.

-- B

Teegstar

on Jun 10, 2004

ewww!!

this one's for you mugzie...

The telephone conversation goes:

"Hello, is this the police?

"Yes it is. How can we help you?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call."

The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers.

They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Wazza and leave.

The phone rings at Wazza's house.

"Hey, Wazz. Did the cops come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop up your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday maaaaate!!!!"

dharmagrl

on Jun 10, 2004

I used to know a military proctologist who had a prosthetic hand he kept in his office. When performing prostate exams on dudes, he'd tell them they would feel his 2 hands on their shoulders, and when they felt one hand move away they'd know what he was going to do. He'd then have them bend over the table, place his real hand on one shoulder, the fake hand on the other...and whammo, he'd do the exam when they were least expecting it...and were still relaxed.

On very still, quiet days you'd be able to hear the screams echoing clear down the hall at the reception desk.

Muggaz

on Jun 10, 2004

teegs.... already posted that mate!!! it's a classic!!!!

BAM!!!

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