This is the Internet after all...

one powerful tool!

Published on May 31, 2004 By Muggaz In Blogging

I had a conversation with a friend recently, about any issues I may have with divulging my life in it's entirety on the Internet. I am a rather candid person, and I do let a lot slip when my weekend translates onto the computer screen. Although I do let a lot slip, there is also a lot that I dont tell you - I have to let your imagination do some of the work

I sit here now, and there is so much I want to say, but I have taken upon myself to not get too personal. This is a tough decision for me, because I count a lot of you to be true friends, who dont just say whatever to see their name on the computer screen... they say what they say because they are genuine people, and really do care. You really understand me at times, and it's fantastic I can bond with a lot of you from thousands of miles away. For a 22 year old male, that is something that is really important - I have role models, and I have enemies to help me find my feet on this planet, and it is something I cannot appreciate enough in words.

It's not only about you understanding me, it's about me understanding you - and in some of your writings, I get this smile on my face that make me think 'gee so and so would be so awesome to sit down with and have a yarn to' or 'Partying with him or her would rock out too the max!!!' Again, it's the connection thing that I never would have imagined finding in an online community.

This article from the Age online really concerned me. It's about a 14 year old boy who organised his own stabbing via a chatroom on the net. It really made me think - who is the victim here? The internet is can be web of deceipt and lies, where the naive can be prayed upon, though I digress - the Internet is a place where the naive can pretend to be strong - they can fake persona's to lure their next victim, or commit their next crime, but thats just the internet - in real life they are just a regular anti-social 14 year old kid!

People, as much as I would like to reassure you that it's a safe place out there, and you can trust whom you will - I cant do that. It makes me sad that people cant be themselves. The greatest gift we are ever given is time, and it escapes me as to why anyone would want to spend any of it pretending to be something they are not. To paraphrase Eddie Veder, we know that we are born, and we know that we die, but the in between in ours.

What you have inside of you, really shouldn't be dispensed by multiple personalities. It's a tough world out there, and people struggle to fit in - but whether you are on the internet, or hanging at the local mall - pretending to be someone you are not will achieve nothing. I see through tough guy persona's, and I am sure I can protect myself in any situation, but it still worries me that my friends on the Internet are susceptible to negative intentions, the same as I worry about my friends in life.

Whilst I think that the Internet would be one of the best inventions or ideas of all time - the fact remains that it is not safe. Their is always that element of fear when ones child in browsing the net - hopefully parents aren't so naive as to think that their child is safe completely un-supervised. As a www. community member, I guess it's our responsibility to do the best we can to keep the content above board!

This is why I will make sure I do my part, and not mention the illicit activities I indulge in - well, I will, but in a not so obvious fashion. Also, as members of the community, we have to do our best to reach out - so 14 year old kids dont try and organise their own murders. I hope no one takes offence to this - but places like JU are havens for sufferers of clinical depression - it gives them an outlet to work through their problem's - and it gives us an opening to help.

You guys, really are great, JU is full of good people, who have willing ears and hearts, I feel confident that anyone reaching out at JU would grasp what they were searching for. I wonder if Brad had that in mind when he started this site? Something tells me he didn't... I bet he doesn't mind though. He has been himself the whole time - and Brad isn't cool guys, he is a freely admited nerd - look where that got him! Dont be afraid of who you are - that's what makes JU wesome, if only everyone else in the entire world could hear my message.... be yourself.

BAM!!!

Comments

WiseFawn

on May 31, 2004

I hope the 14 year old was stopped? This is the blog of a Jedi, you know.

Sally jacobs

on May 31, 2004

That was a lovely blog, and you are so right. I have met some lovely people online, people I would never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise, even though I'm relatively new to JU I have me some lovely people here to, and that is a great thing. I guess I treat my blog mostly as a diary, writing things I might not tell people in the real world, and I like that freedom, that I can write my thoughts, and then people here read them and give me feedback, and positive feedback at that, it's great!

I watched a programme not so long ago, I think it was called chatting to death, or something, and it was about people commiting suicide on webcam and other people in a chatroom watching it, it really knocked me sick. You do meet nice people online, but you have to be careful, you don't know who these people are, and you don't know if you are seeing the real them. I worry about young teenagers going online unsupervised, because they are so impressionable, but as long as their parents are aware, and make it safe for them, they can have a good experience!

kingbee

on May 31, 2004

nothin uncool about nerds. for every bill gates, theres a steve jobs (hopefully). but i take your point

i first was able to access the net (as opposed to bbs, etc) in the early 90s. i made a point of staying away from chats and newsgroups for about 7 years because i felt they were populated by wackos (which means way more wacko than me and thats not an achievement to take lightly). when i finally did venture into the online society, i was planning to turn my experiences and observations into a long ficto-journalism piece but one day i realized i was way too close to my subject...and like stephen king, id likely wind up without a contrived ending.

at that same point, i remembered reading an essay by timothy leary in 1986, the thrust of which was leary's prophesy that the net would be a springboard for the next wave of human evolution. after i stopped laughing, my other response was to pity anyone whod had to edit that piece (based on my own experience with dr tim and his writings). lookin at it from my relatively new vantage in chat, however, neither leary nor his perception seemed that far out. we are the first humans in history whove escaped the constraints of geography.

from the time we came out of the trees up til several hundred years ago, the number of people one could reasonably expect to meet and interact with was generally limited to the population within a radius of no more than 20-25 miles from home except in time or war or famine. that circle gradually widened a bit but not anything approaching significantly as new means of transportation were developed . so youre certainly correct in your assessment of what an incredible thing the net can be.

in a recent discussion, i saw someone saying something about the importance of remembering there are real people behind the nicks. its not merely important or an important component of netiquette. its one of the two most crucial factors in eliminating the negatives you mentioned. the other is each of us remembering we are who we are despite the nick we use online

Muggaz

on May 31, 2004

WF - That was the highest compliment you could give me!!! the blog of a Jedi - yes, my padawan training is almost over!!!

Kingbee - that got an insightful... I love it when you pop in with great comments on my blog - it makes me look good!

and Sally, you are one of the people I am talking about, we get a long, from thousands of miles away - and that to me is priceless.

Thanks for your comments guys!

BAM!!!

gothic impulse

on May 31, 2004

Muggaz, I agree with the fantastic people you can meet and bond with.

The wonderful things you can learn from these people.

I think alot of people are becoming to blase about the net and not supervising their kids enough. We have two young children in this house that use the net and they are constantly supervised and know to ask " can I go here " if they break the rules they have their net privileges revoked.

Even just little things like leaving a chat name on auto sign in can cause problems. I know of some people that did that and their 10 year old daughter went into a body art room, complete with cam. Luckily it was a room her parents were known in and nothing came of it ..except she got into alot of trouble from her parents and they learnt to be more careful.

I know of a girl who was drunk and terribly depressed and was on cam and decided to slit her wrists ...luckily friends were watching and called 911.

I have also been lucky enough to see friends new born babies and watch them grow. To connect with people I would never have met.

The net ..like life has good and bad. Hopefully most people are wise enough to know the difference and supervise those who are too young to yet.

Jess

Floozie

on May 31, 2004

Muggaz,
I'm only new to this whole blogging thing myself, and have found myself disclosing more and more as the articles are churned out. What I find the best is the fact that you can have a journal (which is how I use my blog) which I can get feedback on. From people with no agenda. Sure, I may not portray the events in my life with complete accuracy (who does?) but it is so helpful to vent my spleen in an arena where there is little judgement and nothing to lose. You said that blogging is very helpful for people with depression. How I wish I had known about this amazing resource when I was depressed a few years ago. My therapist told me to write a diary. And I did, but ended up going around in ever decreasing circles as my automatic thought patterns became more refined and much more effective at making me feel bad about myself.
Did you know that there has been great research about self disclosure and physical and mental outcomes? In a university study they got a control group to write for five minutes a day about something trivial - what they had for dinner, what they watched on TV, something like that. The other group were asked to write about something which had had a profound emotional effect on them. Both groups were told that their writings would be anonymous, but they would all be read. Following a month of this, it was found that health problems and psychological complaints had abated by a large and significant amount for those who wrote something personal compared to the control group who did not change on these variables at all.
The study was then recreated where the only difference between the two groups was that while they both wrote something personal, one group was told that their writings would be read (anonymously still) while the others were told that they wouldn't be. Both groups still had positive benefits, but those that were told someone would read their musings were significantly better off. A six month follow up study showed that those in the 'read' group were still better of mentally and physically.
So I agree with you on all the benefits of this amazing resource. I wish I could have found it earlier.
Keep those BAMS coming!

kingbee

on May 31, 2004

I have also been lucky enough to see friends new born babies and watch them grow

thats all good but i draw the line at watching the actual delivery.

a longtime online friend once sent me a pic of her baby a year after it was born (like on its 1st birthday hahaha). she was bathing the kid in a kitchen sink and when i opened it, a woman who was seated on the other side of the room and sorta behind me asked (seriously outraged too) who is sending you that kiddyporn?

kingbee

on May 31, 2004

it makes me look good!

you hardly need anyone doin that...but thanks

BAM!

Muggaz

on Jun 01, 2004

you hardly need anyone doin that...but thanks

What is this? build my ego day? you are too kind

by the way - thats some un-authorised bamming!!! you need a permit for that mate!

BAM!!!

gothic impulse

on Jun 01, 2004

she was bathing the kid in a kitchen sink and when i opened it, a woman who was seated on the other side of the room and sorta behind me asked (seriously outraged too) who is sending you that kiddyporn?

OMG lmao sorry

Muggaz ..everytime i see your BAM i picture you as BAM BAM off the Flinstones

Jess

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