A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
for the squadron
Published on July 27, 2007 By Muggaz In Just Hanging Out
My friends all think they are above going home with ugly women, so it is making it extremely hard for me to score with the HB's (Hot Babe) of London, I need a man's man to distract the CB's (cock blockers) found in bars throughout the city.

You will be handsomely rewarded with shots of the most potent alcohol before going in for the kill, and if you have to go all the way deep into enemy territory, you will be compensated in turn.

Your responsibilities will include but are not limited to distracting the CB's and signalling when the HB is ready to be swept of her feet - this will be done with a simple nod in my general direction.

Once I have commenced my bombing run, you must show initiative to keep the CB's distracted - by playing pool or taking them to the bar. I recommend the later, as I generally like attractive girls, I can almost guarantee the CB's will be ugly, as we all know HB's surround themselves with ugly girls to make them feel good about themselves - so obviously, the more inebriated you are, the better - drink them pretty if you will.

I strongly recommend comparing the CB's favourably to the HB, as this will no doubt distract them and appeal to their female vanity, as they are perennial bridesmaids and are not used to the attention.

Failing this, perhaps acting gay could be a valuable strategy, as CB's often double as FH's (fag hags) so if you can entertain them with whimsical stories about the latest scandals concerning Amy Winehouse or the new Prada collection, you can succeed as a Wingman without having to gain carnal knowledge on the CB's - you could also point out men in the bar you think would be suitable, present company excluded of course, however, you must be careful to make sure Me and the HB remain under the radar.

It is not the easiest job in the world, some say it is even a thankless job - many good men have been driven to genuine homosexuality because of the perils facing a skilled wingman, but if done correctly, you will live a happy and fulfilling life, and I will be able to whisk many a HB away into the night, and we will have loads of fantastic stories to regail our colleagues with at the water cooler on Monday mornings.

Thank you for your time.

Comments
on Jul 27, 2007

It is not the easiest job in the world, some say it is even a thankless job - many good men have been driven to genuine homosexuality because of the perils facing a skilled wingman, but if done correctly, you will live a happy and fulfilling life, and I will be able to whisk many a HB away into the night, and we will have loads of fantastic stories to regail our colleagues with at the water cooler on Monday mornings.


It takes a special sort of man to take the wingman role; anyone who'd willingly do it is already a little bit urban if you get my meaning.

They're probably in it for the occasional bombing anyway.
on Jul 27, 2007
Wingmen are for those who can't "win" the game on their own. I mean really, do you think Brad Pitt, or Cristiano Ronaldo, or any other uber hot guy has (or frankly needs) a wingman? I'm disappointed to learn that Muggaz needs help scoring the ladies.
on Jul 30, 2007
Oh I am so glad you compare me favourably with the likes of Brad Pitt and Christiano Ronaldo!

It's not that I need help scoring with the ladies Shades... it's just that I feel bad for all the CBs I leave in my smoke, and it's more of a mercy thing... you know, fat chicks need love too... just not from me
on Aug 01, 2007
Funny, you think you'll ever be a one woman man, Mugz? Trinitie
on Aug 02, 2007
of course Trin... when I find the right woman... it's a case of trial and error you know.
on Aug 02, 2007
Just remember, the right woman might be looking for you by trail and error too.
on Aug 02, 2007
It's not that I need help scoring with the ladies Shades... it's just that I feel bad for all the CBs I leave in my smoke, and it's more of a mercy thing... you know, fat chicks need love too... just not from me


You certainly are charming, aren't ya?
on Aug 02, 2007
Was that from a tarot deck or EoiC's life? Minus the damaged goods part, but we're not at the end of the road quite yet.

What color hair did this girl in the liquor store have again?
on Aug 03, 2007
wow Trin, you are now the new 'jaded one'

I would be lying if i didn't say I was a little offended by you referring to me as shallow, but whatever...

you do know there are stunning women out there who have brains as well? and shock horror, great personalities!

I don't know how much you think you know me, but you should know by now that I do have a bit of depth to my character, and I don't settle for mediochrity... there is absolutely nothing wrong with me having standards, and I make no apologies for them...

you are a goose.
edit - i am an idiot.
on Aug 03, 2007
you are such a trouble maker.
on Aug 06, 2007
yeah i was still a little intoxicated from the night before, so i thought it was Trin that called me shallow!

you can call me whatever you want!
on Aug 06, 2007
no, i just think you were looking out for me... you know, the pitfalls of desire of the hot women and all that...

I know you are just trying to protect me, but your tarot cards can't possibly have any idea about me from where you are, and where I am... I am positive you just got the reading wrong...

I see nothing but good things in store for me - I am far too smart to become a suplicating chump to some woman, no matter how attractive she is...

remember, no matter how hot she is, some guy is sick of her shit...

on Aug 06, 2007
remember, no matter how hot she is, some guy is sick of her shit...


Dear Mr. Wonderful -- Remember, no matter how hot you are, some girl is sick of your shit too!

Good thing you've got that charming personality to make up for it, right?
on Aug 09, 2007
I would never call you shallow, Love. You know I think highly of you. You have a heart of gold. Trinitie
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