Dear Dr. Love,

I wish you all the best in your efforts to chronicle the M-F bonding rituals. In case you are skinned alive, where would you like your remains placed?


Seriously though, this should be interesting.

ROFL @ wolf-man! Hahahaha!!!

I am not saying all Woman are illogical creatures, it just seems to be a rule

Nice disclaimer, Muggaz....

A. Strut. Confidence is the key

Yeah, but not too much of it....overconfidence is a big turn off.

B. Don’t get hung up, if a girl is not receptive, move right along – she isn’t worth the worry

Yes, if we're not receptive, please take this advice and move right along.  If you don't we tend to think that you're making a nuisance of yourself, and that's a BIG turn off.

I'm impressed so far, Muggaz!

Hmm..looks do matter..that being said...looks are subjective...There has to be something there to attract you to begin with. Chemistry.

looks do matter

I know they do, not just half as much to you as it does to us. There is no such thing as a relationship without sexual attraction, however, women seem to be able to develop a sexual attraction if a man is confident, and funny... which all comes down to the chemistry you mentioned... Let it be noted, Humour is almost always top of the list when it comes to qualities ladies find attractive... If you are butt ugly, however, still make a girl laugh, Odds are you wont have any problems in the relationship field...

If you can maintain a confident (not over confident) and humorous attitude, you will do well!

BAM!!!

hmmm. let me see now ....if i take you literally, pet, then you are advising a new generation of males to accost young women with the following statement:

"hi. my name is XXXX"

a watertight (oops. pardon) guarantee of success ... if you're hitting on jenna jamieson.

(dear god, i hope i got her name wrong). (yes, i know you really meant "insert (oops. pardon) your name here")

ok, ok, i have to admit it, i actually agree with you. you have no idea how painful that is for me.

blam ?

mig XX

Wow, Hey Dr Lurveeee, even though after starting to read that article I really didn't want to like it, I actually did, grrr! You were definately right on a few points, especially the confidence thing, that is such a huge turn on and can often blind you to other things, looks in general do matter alot less to women, and if a blokes confident that makes them matter a whole lot less! I look forward to the following through article

Mug,

Your advice so far seems spot-on, there's just one bit I think should be added, because this is afterall aimed at those of us who are more or less inept when it comes to dealing with women.

-When approaching a woman, it's all about mindset. If you go in thinking how hot she is or how much you want to hit it off with her, you're screwed, because you're basically psyching yourself out, you're overanalyzing the whole deal before the first word is spoken. Go in with the attitude that this girl is just like any other girl you've ever held a conversation with, if you have any female friends with whom you are comfortable talking with, try and look at this new one in a similar light. You will be more confident (because you're not worrying over impressing her) and a heck of a lot more lucid (no stumbling over lines like "Gee, you're awful purty").

I myself have just about 0 luck getting dates, I've got huge confidence problems compounded by my average appearance and the fact that I'm a geek (which does not go over well with the types of girls you tend to meet in bars in a college town). However I have found that since I adopted the above attitude that I have mastered the ability to at least talk to a woman as if she's a real breathing person (which she is, just that most guys tend to forget this important fact). Most girls I've met really appreciate this, as most guys they meet try and pull some cheesy lines, or are otherwise obviously trying to get them back to their bed later that night.

This first step won't win you any dates by itself, but it's a good way to mentally prepare yourself for following the Rules Of Muggaz in meeting and hitting it off with women.

-Z

Can't wait to read Part Deux. I'll reserve my illogical comments (j/k) for another time

Markus do u really think you are quilified to be handing out advice like this?? hehehe

But i agree confidence is the key but not to much, and also looks are important but not as much as u may all think.

i have recently met a guy who is hot as, and has the confidence to boot, but the thing that has made me get turned off him slightly is the fact he knows it, and his confidenece has just made him look arrogant!

but man hes hot. neway.....i have spoken to a few girls about him lately after reading this article and asked them what they think about him and they all say the same thing he's good but he's arrogant, which makes them not bother with him, which is not a good thing, you could say hes over confident.

now i have no problem with him cos im the only one who took the time to actually talk to him, i pushed out of my head the fact hes so good and so arrogant and gave him the chance, i just pretended he was a normal guy i was talking to (which he is, dunt get me wrong hes not like some god or nething hehehe) but neway he's ok in a one on one conversation its just the comments he makes in group conversation, that brings his point system right down.

Now if he just learnt to not be so confident in himself, he would be a pretty awesome guy.

so i suppose my point to this is, if ur over confident we look the other way and think your just an arrogant dick, that we have no time for.

OK H-Bomb...

the thing that has made me get turned off him slightly

slightly...

Let me ask you this... you are still thinking of him right now, and you would still be with him tomorrow night... It does't make sense at all does it? i mean, he was so arrogant? but chicks emotions dont make sense!!! say it with me now!

Thats why I am qualified! you love midgets

Zoomba - that was some excellent advice to add to the article... treat the girl like she is your sister, but a sister you are allowed to hook up with, because, after all, she really isn't your sister It is all a headgame... about being comfortable, and not being freaked out by some outrageously hot chick. I am not super human, i even fall to bits in front of girls i am really impressed with at times, but it's certainly a real skill to master! Its ok to be a geek these days mate, especially with the skills you are obviously on the way to learning! I myself have spent 40 hours in the last couple of days playing X-box! We are brothers in geekdom!

Mig, this article was about meeting woman, not picking them up... once you start meeting the woman, that kind of comes naturally, because they love so and so... (use your imagination) hehe...

I am pleased with the way this article has been received thus far! I advise you refer any males you think could do with some friendly advice! or some ladies who can provide some input! my next article will be Getting Phone Numbers...

BAM!!!

Markus you o

Sorry bout that, slip of the finger.....
as i was saying....

markus of all people you should know me when it comes to guys, so really its not about me.
i was talking about other girls who dunt find him attactive they dunt like him at all cos of his attitude, and thats what makes him less appealing to them, and of course i would be with him hello markus its me man, im just saying ........that the over confidence he has, has come off as though hes arrogant, and even though i gave him the time and day to talk to him, the other girls did not bother with him because of this....so im saying that having confidence is one thing but having to much confidence is another and theres not alot of us chicks out there that will give a guy like this a shot, me on the other hand always has time for anyone.

oh who cares hes fricking hot and i dunt care how arrogant he is!!!!!

markus please stop with the midgets??? you know i have a thing about them, oh thanks for the message yesterday cos i needed to be informed about that and all!!!!!!!!!!

Hehe... I just saw them and thought of you!!!

you may not like Midgets, but they love you!!!

BAM!!!

How do you figure that marky mark and the funky bunch?.......

why do they love me?

mind u i do see a hell of alot of them!!!!!!!!!!

and please u know i had a horrile experience with them when i ws little so why would u bring it up again!!!!!

I completely agree with the above statements Mugs - you are ahead of your time.
Now I am going to throw a monkey wrench in your machinations

The monkey wrench is life's dysfunction. Allow me to elaborate.

Some people are naturally more confident then others. As you say some are born with good looks. But what about the kid who came from a less than ideal family? The urges are still there and but somehow the ability to articulate in a graceful way is lost. The natural confidence is masked by inner turmoils and that once graceful play has turned into a fumble... If you are self aware and possess a bit of honesty, you might find your conversations short and laconic because you don't want to come across as negative. You talk about lots of stuff - just not yourself.... So here is where the quiet guy sits in the corner as a sweet smiling player makes his move.

To date is to socialize with the opposite sex. But if one carries health/life/family or some other obscure malaise to the table - they are being anti-social. Anti-social behaviour isolates. Some problems come of bad choices and are self inflicted. Some are fixable. Some aren't. Now what happens to the guy who has had a strike against him from day one, has made no life mistakes but continues to be unpopular? Answer? He gets called a loser.

As you, I started to notice that once out of school, certain types of people found success faster than others. I looked at these people and felt they were not always deserving of the successes attributed. I saw people who were smarter, more humble, and harder working getting passed over in work and in the dating scene. Why? Confidence. Confidence is how a government runs. Confidence gives us security that we made the right decision in chosing this person be that a bf, gf, or your local mla.

Now that I have aged somewhat I firmly put the shoe on the other foot. I look for comptetance. I look for someone who have endured crisis and hardship and managed to keep their sanity in the process. This does not necessarily mean you look for the most successful person, rather, a person with good coping mechanisms.

At some point in your life, if you are angry you will tire of it. If you are sad you will someday move on. This is the point where the unpopular dufus has finally reached what the jock had at 16. A little inner peace at the cost of 'X' many years of pain and hardship.

As a side note, a good percentage of these popular people also end up with failed relationships. Confidence does not substitute for personal integrity. Suddenly being single with no kids, no alimony payments, and a damn nice car doesn't feel so bad after all. Life is simple. From that simplicity a contentedness develops and allows that unlovable bachelor to become who they were really meant to be.

Two different paths that sometimes cross at the most unexpected of places.

JD