A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
Tomorrow will be Ok
Published on March 11, 2004 By Muggaz In Personal Relationships
I hate my Ex Girlfriend. I really do.

Her name was Kate…

We have been broken up for quite sometime now, and I have not had any interaction with her whatsoever for several months, but I still have whack/crazy dreams about her, and she still occupies a place in my heart.

Last night i dreamt we saw each other, and she just came up and started talking to me as if nothing happened, and then she was all touchy feely and wanted to hook up again... this is the second or third such dream like this... In my dreams we never do hook up, i act distant and usually tell her to leave me alone... it still makes me upset though.

I despise the fact that I can hate someone who I used to love so dearly, but to continue with my own personal development, I really have to focus on the hatred I have for her, otherwise she will haunt me forever.

We were together for 2 years… not the most successful relationship – we certainly had our ups and downs, but one thing is for sure, I certainly did love her, and that’s the reason we broke up – I was too comfortable within my love, and I wasn’t a challenge to her anymore, and I have learnt so much about myself and her in the meantime.

She was truly the first girl I ever loved… and her face is engraved in my head, and always will be. As the song goes, the first cut is the deepest… It took me 14 months to even think about and being in the position to be with another girl, and I hate Kate for it. I feel sorry for all the poor girls out there who will never get my respect because I am very jaded by this whole experience. I am actually afraid to give my heart to anyone now… I simply don’t know if it will be able to take another shattering. All my trust is severely depleted.

It’s like she has no respect for me whatsoever. At the end of the day, our relationship was never going to work out, because we have become very different people, but I can 100% categorically state that I loved that girl, and now she doesn’t even have the respect to deal with me.

I understand her position though, it’s just amazingly selfish. I know at one point, she did love me, and it would have been hard to break up with me, because we were both very comfortable, and in a state of routine. When we first broke up, I went about it the wrong way – I made the mistake of admitting how much I needed her… Lads, if I can pass on one piece of advice, if someone you love breaks up with you… go out, find some slut, and hook up with her straight away. If you spend all your time trying to get back with ex… you are wasting your time, because that’s how the female brain works – if you are interested, they are not.

I don’t really think about her so much anymore, but every-time a song comes on, or a friend is in a similar situation, depression sinks in… I just really miss her you know… we weren’t only lovers, but we were best friends as well… so that is two voids within my heart that I have been unable to replace. She really fudged my head over.

The song Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper sums up my feelings about this girl amazingly… so instead of this pointless drivel, I will just post the lyrics for your perusal… I cannot emphasise enough how spot on this guy is with my emotions and thoughts…

Yes indeed, I'm alone again.
And here comes emptiness crashing in.
It's either love or hate,
I can't find in between,
'cause I've been with witches and I've been with a queen.

It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
So now it's just another lonely day.
Further along we just may.
But for now it's just another lonely day.

Wish there was something now I could say or do.
I can resist anything but the temptation from you.
But I'd rather walk alone than chase you around.
I'd rather fall myself than let you drag me on down.

It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
And now it's just another lonely day.
Further along we just may.
But for now, it's just another lonely day.

Yesterday seems like a life ago,
'cause the one I love today, I hardly know,
You I held so close in my heart, Oh dear,
Grow further from me with every fallen tear.

It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
So now it's just another lonely day.
Further along we just may.
But for now it's just another lonely day.
For now it's just another lonely day.
For now it's just another lonely day.

Kate, if you are out there, I just want to thank you for helping me discover myself… If I have one thing to say to you, it’s that I wish you went about things differently, and I really miss you. I enjoyed the time we had immensely, and you brought out the best in me… you really were my first Love, and I will never forget you… I dont really hate you, i am just tricking my heart, thats the profound effect you had on me. I hope you can forgive me for Loving you someday… and find it in your heart to just let me know how you are going.

For now, it’s just another lonely day.

Comments
on Mar 11, 2004
I understand where you're coming from Muggaz, My first girlfriend was a lovely girl named Edith and I never really got over her but as I got older I put this down to it being my first relationship which led me to look back with rose tinted spectacles.

It is hard in life to find a woman who can compete with the memories of your first love, but it is possible as you get older and the memories start to fade.

Stay positive old chap

Sir Peter
on Mar 11, 2004
Muggaz, you're such a sweetie; maybe I'll come to Australia to give you a hug(maybe a kiss while I'm at it ). Good gracious, you gave me hope, boys do become men! I hate how relationships work that way; you know it'll never really work, but you still want it, really badly. I know right where you're coming from, I'm there. Gosh, that Crow song does describe it awfully well. And then you see things, smell things, hear things, that remind you of that one person and it sucks. You're right though, tomorrow will be ok! ::blows kiss::
on Mar 11, 2004
You're right...
I'm going to actually agree with you instead of arguing.
The female mind does work that way, but I don't know why. If I could reverse it I would.
You know why? Because wonderful people like you get your heart broken, and I hate to see that.
And, you know, I think you already know any advice I could give you, even if you choose to not accept it.
So for now, I'll just say that this was one of the sweetest things I've ever read, and I love you for it.

Trinitie
on Mar 11, 2004
Giving your total self to someone and then losing her love, does hurt for a long time. Next time you'll be more cautious and hopefully will find someone with whom you can stay with for a long time. Fortunately for me, I met someone who I could commit to for life and he to me. It sure takes the hurt out of loving someone. It isn't easy though. Life is never easy.
on Mar 11, 2004
i'm happy to see that you really are one of us...

hehehe
on Mar 12, 2004
Oh man, can I relate to this or what. I was in the same boat mate. Reading this post was like looking into the mirror of my soul. Every now and then my ex reappears and opens up old wounds, as you can plainly tell by some of my blogs, albeit I've moved on and left the past where it should be. Good luck Muggzy, hope you'll find someone soon
on Mar 12, 2004
Actually she's doing you a favor by not having anything to do with you (i.e. stringing you along ). I don't think anyone ever forgets their first love. Break-ups hurt so badly, in any case.....some of us (ahem) older bloggers on here have been through it more than a couple of times (I mean, look at Sir Peter). Love will find you when you least expect it. There is something wonderful out there waiting for you!
on Mar 13, 2004
i agree with trin-cuz i love you for this too!
ive been there myself.....i have yet to forget my first love, and try as i might i cant hate him b/c we were best friends for quite a while before we hooked up. heres one quote that might help...ii got it from a friend...

"Don't let people from the past bother you. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future."
on Mar 16, 2004
We all do that first love crap. Of course you know that I know above all that it isn't really crap, and that's what really makes it crap.

U know how I feel, therefore I know how you feel.

Does this ever go away?

~Anne