A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
Muggaz's Articles In Humor
January 31, 2005 by Muggaz
Below is a link to a new Auschwitz conspiracy, uncovered by no other than the great former SAS general and Knight of the Realm, Sir Peter Maxwell. The findings are quite alarming, and we must all work harder than before to destroy the terrorist means. If you are boring peasant who is easily offended or shocked, i invite you to read the link - it will make you feel quite alive with rage! Link
January 31, 2005 by Muggaz
Below is a link to a new Auschwitz conspiracy, uncovered by no other than the great former SAS general and Knight of the Realm, Sir Peter Maxwell. The findings are quite alarming, and we must all work harder than before to destroy the terrorist means. If you are boring peasant who is easily offended or shocked, i invite you to read the link - it will make you feel quite alive with rage! Link
November 28, 2004 by Muggaz
Oh the joys of Christmas! 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate. Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents. 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying...
November 28, 2004 by Muggaz
Oh the joys of Christmas! 31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate. Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents. 101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying...
September 2, 2004 by Muggaz
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 4. Boxing Ana...
September 2, 2004 by Muggaz
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 4. Boxing Ana...
September 2, 2004 by Muggaz
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for onc...
September 2, 2004 by Muggaz
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for onc...
August 23, 2004 by Muggaz
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the removalists come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a kilo of prawns, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten prawn shells, dipped in caviar, ...
August 23, 2004 by Muggaz
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the removalists come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a kilo of prawns, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten prawn shells, dipped in caviar, ...
August 19, 2004 by Muggaz
I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate blokes prancing around like fairies, redecorating houses and talking about concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual, bull..... definitions have taken over the country! Real blokes of Australia, stand up, scratch your arse , burp and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby ann...
August 19, 2004 by Muggaz
I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate blokes prancing around like fairies, redecorating houses and talking about concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual, bull..... definitions have taken over the country! Real blokes of Australia, stand up, scratch your arse , burp and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby ann...
August 19, 2004 by Muggaz
Hello, my name is Alan and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f*****g chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Newcastle with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her dysfunctional parents sell her to a travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are you? "O...
August 19, 2004 by Muggaz
Hello, my name is Alan and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f*****g chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Newcastle with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her dysfunctional parents sell her to a travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are you? "O...
August 11, 2004 by Muggaz
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?", she asks, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily. "Gold of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you ...