A day to day acount of the whacky and wonderful world of Muggaz - i tend to be having too much fun these days, and often cannot remember moments due to debauchery - its time the internet repayed my loyalty by recording my antics.
a true story!
Published on December 6, 2004 By Muggaz In Blogging
I was a young lad at the age of 16 years old. I was in my final year of high school, and I was becoming a man if you know what I mean. I went to a Catholic school, where religious education was mandatory – sure, it was the 90’s, sexual liberation has come a long way since the old days, but still, at a Catholic school promiscuity was still not common. I knew all about sex, but I still was comfortable with it, considering all the risks involved and how the religious attitudes of sex had been drummed into me by my parents and my teachers.

I had just come out of a 2 week relationship and for me at the time, was pretty hardcore… the longest one I had been in. My friends, my brother and cousin and me were on our way to a party in Croydon, and we came across this group of four chicks who were on their way to a party as well… it was at the skate park, and they seemed like fun chicks, so we hung around them for a while and socialised.

It had all the hallmarks of a classic pick up – I was the oldest of the group, and my younger cousin was yet to experience the sweet taste of a kiss against his lips, so I choose the hottest chick amongst them – we will call her S for arguments sake, and I was harassing her to hook up with my cousin. For those of you that are familiar with the Female psyche, this is text book sexual tension and attraction between myself and her – she wanted to know why I didn’t want to hook up with her, and why I was suggesting my cousin – I constantly quipped that she wasn’t good enough for me, and that she couldn’t handle me…etc…etc… I know, it doesn’t make sense, but chicks don’t – so this inevitably dialled up her attraction towards me, because she was an attractive girl, and she was used to getting what she wanted as far as guys are concerned.

One thing led to another… she made one of her friends hook up with my cousin, and then she was all over me for like a rash – who can blame her, I am a charming lad, but this was certainly one of those occasions where I was too charming for my own good. At the time, I was happy as Larry, I was a young lad, and I had this hot chick jumping my bones – she wanted to go all the way – but I was still very naïve, and held out that particular evening – besides, the skate park in Croydon did not seem like an appropriate place to lose my virginity.

Based on the title, you could be forgiven for thinking that I was scared to lose my virginity at this point, well, you are mistaken – nothing could be further from the proof. We hooked up the following week at my friend’s birthday party the next weekend, a friend that conveniently lives across the road from where I lived. The alcohol was flowing, my ex was there, and so was this girl, and my mum was out for the night – what better time for a 16 year old to loose his virginity? So yeah – me and S went over to my house, and I will never forget that night – losing ones virginity hasn’t been traditionally as important for the guy – but when she quips how good you are (she didn’t know I was a virgin) on your first time, it’s good for ones ego.

Afterwards – a lot of things were going through my head, sure it was fun, but I had no inclination to sleep with this girl ever again… in fact, afterwards, I pretty much totally ignored her… I walked some other chick home, and I felt kind of cheap, dirty etc… whilst that curios dry feeling between my legs was no longer evident, it had been replaced by a curious dry feeling inside my head and heart.

S had called during the following week to see what was going on… I guess once you have popped, you just can’t stop… but I made like a cool southerly wind and totally iced her… there was the naivety of my youth, and also the degree of indifference… I just wasn’t interested in some chick who slept with me after knowing me for one week, my obvious charisma and powers aside, it just wasn’t normal… it was just another episode in my adolescence over as far as I was concerned.

Well – it wasn’t over. She got one of her friends to call me a few days later to say she was pregnant, and they wanted me to pay for the abortion – this my friends, was the scariest part of my life thus far. I have been through family trauma’s, all of which I could have no hand in creating – yet this was a problem of my own making, and I was scared. As mentioned earlier, my obvious discretion aside, I am still a moral person, and the thought of aborting a child of mine scared the bejeebus out of me – abortion is one of those things that I will permanently ride the fence on, yet when it comes to a personal situation, with-out a male role model in my life – I was lost. It was either abortion, or raise the kid – I am sure the fears of a 16 year old boy finishing his last year of high school were justified.

I confronted S about it… I explained that I needed to talk to her before I made any commitments, probably the manliest thing I have ever done whilst I was just a boy, yet, she wouldn’t talk to me face to face about it. I was a pretty big wheel at the cheese factory back in the day though, so I found out through my sources, she had made the whole thing up to see me again… I know I am good looking, but this was the most preposterous thing I had ever heard. I lost my rocker at the poor girl. It was at a park in the middle of Croydon – it was a nice day, I remember it vividly – she played with my emotions and worst fears in the worst way imaginable, all the while I had kept it to myself and my closest friends…

After that day, I didn’t have sex again for almost 2 years – Sex gives a girl an amazing power to emotionally blackmail the unique breed that is the caring and emotionally tuned male that is myself, and whilst I didn’t know S was having me on, the thoughts that were going through my head of fear and un-certainty I would not wish upon my worst enemy. I guess that little encounter certainly shaped who I am today – and when I think about it, It always brings me to thoughts of young parental units, and how difficult it must be for them, and inevitably I am left wondering what would have happened had she been telling the truth.

I wouldn’t dream of practising un-safe sex now, and sex with randoms based on a one night stand is pretty much out of the question. The simple fact is, you can never guess someone’s motives. An eternal optimist though, this one moment of naivety has created a responsible young man, and my fear has turned into awareness, for which I am thankful.

on Dec 06, 2004
That would scare me, too. If I were either you or S. I don't have a whole lot else to say. I'm not going to preach or confess, but I did read this with interest and a bit of identification here and there.

An eternal optimist though, this one moment of naivety has created a responsible young man, and my fear has turned into awareness, for which I am thankful.

Good note to end on, I think.

on Dec 06, 2004
The biggest sin a blogger can commit is to try to steal points from a Points Whore...
I'm shocked
on Dec 06, 2004
I can 100% identify with you mate. Similar thing happened to me at 18, my girlfriend and I were having troubles and both knew the relationship was on the way out. Yet she didn't want anyone else having me, so what could she do to keep me forever tied to her? You guessed it, get pregnant.

I now have a beautiful 7 year old daughter who I wouldn't give up for anything, but I can never forgive my now EX. Yep that's right after everything she did she lost me anyway. I have complete custody of my girl as my ex discovered that she wasn't ready to be a mum. Thank god for family. Becoming a parent is hard enough when you make the choice, but to have it decided for you it even harder. Glad that you learn't from you past adn that you won't get stuck in a similar situation.
on Dec 06, 2004

"""""whilst that curios dry feeling between my legs was no longer evident, it had been replaced by a curious dry feeling inside my head and heart."""""

I just felt that that line beared repeating.

on Dec 06, 2004
A worthy exposition, indeed, Old Boy. Keep sharking, Old Boy.
on Dec 06, 2004
This experience of yours is interesting to read about from the male point of view. Your experience shaped you and helped you to become the person that you are today. My experience as a teen was not like that, although there were a few attractions and crushes. I'm responding also because I have a 15 year old girl and her dad and I see where we're gonna have to sit with her to reiterate to her about the facts of life. Not that she's being a problem, she's a good kid and I already had the birds and the bees talk with her when she was 13. But now I see boys calling around and calling on the phone and we're getting concerned that one of these might be more than friendship. I've asked her and she told me that they're just friends. I told her dad to let me handle this (he's getting all macho and ready to knock heads) because we have to step delicately here. The one thing I keep reminding her to do is to make the right choices. She has a friend who became pregnant at 16.
on Dec 07, 2004
Thanks for your comments peeps...

I dont even know why I wrote this... it was extremely personal... meh... we are all better for it
on Dec 07, 2004
oh wow, what a hypocrite....man this is so funny in a not so fnuny way, you realize people arent as they seem
on Dec 07, 2004
You're a very interesting guy Muggaz. Funny too.
on Dec 08, 2004
errr... thanks! I think
on Dec 08, 2004
I dont find him very funny, but tahts just me....
on Dec 09, 2004
I dont find him very funny, but tahts just me....

Break it down JT
on Dec 09, 2004
how pathetic! lol
i still cant believe this...oh wow, u were totally not the person i thought u were, but i guess i was wrong after that email