This is, like, a semi-rant?

my eyes made me do it.

Published on November 17, 2004 By Muggaz In Just Hanging Out

AS I stood in front of the mirror, washing my face preparing to go to bed, you can’t help taking a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. You go through the motions, you see past any imperfections of your face, and you look right into your eyes, and wonder how the rest of the world looks at you, even though they can’t possibly know you without peering into the depths of your gaze.

What type of Image are you trying to convey to the world when you are in the thick of it, or as my friends and I like to say; “Amongst it.” Do you ask your soul who you are? Or do you ask TV? No one seems comfortable in their own skin anymore, and they are trying to be someone else.

These deep seeded desires, created by Hollywood trends, Marketing and PR, they don’t care about your souls – they care about how much your soul will pay to look like her, or drink what he drinks… The late Bill Hicks once said – Everyone in Advertising and PR should go and kill themselves – I am not a cynical as he, yet I invite them to look into their souls when they use the latest beauty products at night.

Celebrity and Status make me ill; yet, I cannot turn my back on it. Everywhere you go; people are judged by how they look.

It’s wrong.

Let he who has committed no sins, cast the first stones. I have a penchant for throwing things, yet, stones are not my forte, and I am guilty as charged. How does one alleviate this curse from me? I feel like a slave to the dollar, needing it to survive, yet hating the temptation to party all weekend with wads of my hard earned cash.

Just the same as I perceive others, guiltily judging people before I even know them – I am sure the same can be said in reverse. That’s when you learn, the magical phrase “I don’t give a crap.” I really admire people who have that attitude. I always tell myself that I don’t give a crap – but we are bombarded by incessant publicity and propaganda.

I don’t know… I guess I am almost resigned to the fact that we are all one in the same… flocks following leaders who are chosen by how much money they have or what they look like – I am not talking about politicians – I am talking about celebrities… Marketing dictates our world now.

I can see the future of a grumpy old man ahead of me, but to pre-empt this dire consequence, I think I will move to the beach in a quaint town by the time I am 30. Damn – I am reading over this, and I am one jaded individual… Life is actually really good at the moment… so, I don’t know where this diatribe is coming from…

Errr… I am still going to post this, I hope you enjoyed it – maybe I am going skitz or something, I just want to go to bed now and read my book. Maybe this was a self righteous rant, when in fact; I can’t really play Devils Advocate at all… It’s not like I could quit my job tomorrow and go live the life of a recluse…

I guess when the monkey is in the pen – he will play. I am a bad boy, not righteous at all, and I am not about to kill myself over it. Sure, I wouldn't mind cutting my skin a little below the eye with my razor, because that makes me look kind of tough even though I am skinny, but it was an accident...

The life of a beach bum does sound mighty tempting though...

Comments

Sally jacobs

on Nov 17, 2004

Hmm...I'm not sure if I am welcome to comment here, I will anyway, you can delete if you like.

We all have these things we wan't to live up to. The majority of us are not happy with what we have got. We want something else. That is human nature, and that is what ,makes us evolve. If we never strived for more, the world wouldn't get further on. However, I totally agree with what you say, we all try to fit in far to much. We all look for social acceptance, and are way to do that, is to look like everyone else. AT the end of the day though, we only have ourselve sto answer to.

Personally, I would like a cottage in the middle of nowhere, and to just write day and night. I'm sure eventually I would find something wrong with that too.

Good article.

Floozie

on Nov 17, 2004

Hey mugz,

It's quite funny how we can have two totally diametrically opposed sides in the same person. I know that you pride yourself on your appearance and have read comments that you've made about girls with good bodies etc etc. This, I think, is all pretty normal. You can even go back to the evolutionary theory of attraction to explain a lot of it. I think that sometimes we just like pretty things.

Yet it can be pretty frustrating when you realise just how much of life is based on appearances. And even though you do it to others, you feel as though there is something incredibly unfair and wrong about it. We're always going to have internal struggles in relation to these things. This article just proves that you're not a facile, vacuous dude. I don't think that the appearance issue will ever be resolved such that the less attractive will be treated the same as the more attractive. But being aware of the fact that this happens is a good way to make even a small difference.

Interesting article. I don't know how long you'd last as a recluse though...

Suz xxx

(And I will be interested to see if Sal's comment stays. I actually thought that you were far more mature than you proved yourself to be in relation to that whole period of idiocy. Who knows, you may delete my comment too!

)

kingbee

on Nov 17, 2004

I can see the future of a grumpy old man ahead of me, but to pre-empt this dire consequence, I think I will move to the beach in a quaint town by the time I am 30

cmon down muggaz! life holds many worse things than being a grumpy old man living close to the beach (it's bigger than a town but still somewhat quaint here). (i gotta remember to buy a walking stick to add to the fun of haranguing anyone under the age of 30 who makes noise, looks like trouble or otherwise irritates me; ya make a much better impression wavin a cane in the air.) as for the rest, i learned a long time ago how to wash my face without benefit of a mirror

new-age nomad

on Nov 17, 2004

This is beautiful writing, MARK.

Wait, I take that back. It comes from a beautiful heart....so maybe my opinion is tainted.

Let's just say it's a beautiful idea.

Trinitie

MANDKS

on Nov 17, 2004

WORD...so true....i like this article

but for some reason...the world wouldnt be the same without celebs...I like checking out hot girls on TV....not that I'm a lesbo or anything, lol

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